Chapter 100 --> Epic Wedding of Death

[Clarence]

2 year anniversary special and 100th episode milestone!

In a beautiful elegant rich neighbourhood is a very wonderful and fancy looking castle. This is where Steroids Man and Amanda will be wed.

Inside the castle is a very decorative wedding area with a huge stage where they will be married. A bunch of fancy chairs are facing the stage to view the marriage. They have hired ushers to seat people and meet people at the door.

Steroids Man comes up on the stage in a nice tuxedo with Phil and The Robot also dressed nicely and Caleb as the priest who will marry them.

To balance things out, The Council of Heroes are seated on the groom's side as Amanda has lots of her police officer friends on the bride's side.

The Council of Heroes consist of Ultra Man, Half Man Half Speedboat, Invisible Man, Hawk Eyes, Polaroid Man, Pylon Man and Crochet Lady all dressed up for the wedding.

They all take a seat and whisper to each other.

Invisible Man (To Ultra Man): Are you sure a bad-guy is going to show up and try to ruin this wedding?

Ultra Man: It's Steroids Man! Everyone wants to kick his bottom. We can basically use this wedding as a lure to capture bad-guys and show the world who the real heroes are. US! Not that Steroids taking princess sophia.

//

From the back we see more people come in to be seated and one mysterious person with a hoodie on.

Usher: Are you on the bride side or groom side?

The man wearing a hoodie and with a slightly exposed army shirt underneath speaks.

Man: I will sit on the groom's side.

Facing the stage, the mysterious man is seated to the left with the grooms side and the brides side is to the right facing the stage.

A mysterious woman enters this time with long blonde hair covering her face and smoking a cigar.

Usher: Bride side or groom side?

Woman: Bride side please.

Steroids Man is nervous on stage with Phil as his best man.

Steroids Man: There's more and more weirdos showing up....

Phil: Don't worry about it, as your manager, best man and best friend I won't let anything ruin this wedding.

The person in the hoodie twitches as he overhears Phil refer to himself as Steroids Man's best friend.

Steroids Man: Ok, I can do this. I have waited for this day.

Suddenly the wedding song starts and Steroids Man gasps.

Phil: Here, take some of these steroids with nerve relaxing chemicals in it.

Steroids Man injects the steroids as the bridesmaids make their way to the stage each with a male police officer. Then we see Amanda being escorted with Police officer Bill.

Steroids Man: She's beautiful!

Amanda has a beautiful dress on and takes center stage next to Steroids Man smiling. Her Maid of honor Jan and also Dougette by her side.

Caleb begins the procedure.

Caleb: We are gathered here today to join Steroids Man and Amanda in holy matrimony.

Amanda (whispering): Steroids Man has a real name.

Steroids Man (Whispering): Steve Mann

Caleb: Right, we are here to join Steve Mann and Amanda in holy matrimony.

Steroids Man and Amanda are both very happy for this moment, the moment they have been waiting for for quite some time and especially after all they have been through together.

Caleb: Do you, Steve Mann take Amanda, to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part.

Steroids Man: I do!

They both have a tear in their eye as they get closer to the moment.

Caleb: And Amanda, Do you take Steve Mann, to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part.

Amanda: I do!

Suddenly the robot's eyes glow red and his robotic memories and programming take over.

***************
The Manager: Steroids Man will never get married as long as I'm around, if Steroids Man somehow manages to get to the alter... you will kill Amanda as soon as she finishes saying "I do"

Robot: YES MASTER, AMANDA WILL DIE IF SHE SAYS "I DO" AT THE WEDDING.
***************

Caleb: Then by the power vested in me, I now declare .... what the hell is going on???

Robot: AMANDA MUST DIE!

The robot approaches Amanda who cringes and Steroids Man punches the robot in the back of the head and shoves him off the stage.

Steroids Man: What the hell!?

Suddenly the hooded man stands up and removes the hoodie to reveal Maverick dressed in army clothing and wearing weapons.

Maverick: STEROIDS MAN!

Steroids Man: Oh, hi Dave.

Maverick: How come you didn't invite me to the wedding!??! I'M SUPPOSE TO BE YOUR BEST MAN, NOT THIS BORING ASSED GUY!

The robot tries to get back on stage and Steroids Man presses him back with his foot as Maverick draws a gun with a laser targeter on it and aims at Phil who looks down to see the red dot on his tuxedo in shock.

Maverick: DIE!!!!

In slow motion Maverick begins to fire as Phil is pushed out of the way by Caleb. Slow motion Phil gets a shot in the shoulder and Caleb takes the other 5 shots and dances around and collapses to the ground.

Maverick begins to make his way to the stage and reloading the gun.

Suddenly the woman with long blonde hair jumps out of her seat and summersaults on stage and faces Amanda with some kind of long knife.

Woman: Amanda! It's time to die! Steroids Man is going to marry ME and not YOU!

Amanda: What the hell...... Ian?

Female Ian: That's right, it's me Ian, I had a tickle fight change after Steroids Man shot my princess sophia off.

Dougette stands between female Ian and Amanda.

Dougette: I'm the only tickle fight change person in this wedding bub!

Steroids Man continues to fight the robot off the stage and Maverick is aiming another gun at the wedding party when....

*KABOOM!!!!*

The wall on stage left (From the wedding viewer's perspective it's the right of the stage and bride's side) explodes sending large old castle rocks flying and as the smoke clears....

We see Metal Face and his new League of Evil consisting of:

Magnet Hands, A super fat Earthquake, The Human Tesla Device, A spiky metal headed Pigeon Man, Cyrus with an eye patch, Fred the Destroyer of Holiday Spirit and the Human Door Stop!

Cyrus: PERPARE TO DIE STEROIDS MAN!!!!

Metal Face: Oh smurf off, I'm the leader and I get the introductory word!

Suddenly there is a bright blue blinding light zapping through the rock wall on the other side of the stage toward the groom side. The wall busts outward and a giant blue monster emerges... it's REVENGE!

Steroids Man: Oh what the hell, did you guys all take the bus together or something???

Hawk Eyes (To Ultra Man): Ummm.... there's a lot more bad-guys here than we thought.....

Ultra Man: Ummm... let's all take on that blue monster!

Pylon Man: That's easy for you to say, you're like way more powerful than all of us and basically invulnerable with that ring.

Ultra Man: Let's just do it!

The Council of Heroes all rush on stage and begin combating Revenge.

Retired police officer Bill stands up and takes charge of the police officers.

Bill: Let's take care of that metal faced guy and those Halloween rejects!

Officer Lenny: But we have no guns....

Bill: Back in my day we used our fists!

Metal Face and his League of Evil go to approach Steroids Man and the wedding party when the cops all begin to fight with the League.

The old castle begins to drop more rocks and debris as it's become unstable with two walls being blown out.

Maverick jumps on stage as Dougette begins to fight female Ian.

Dougette: I'm way more of a woman than you'll ever be jabberwocky! *spits in Female Ian's eye*

Female Ian: You Shay!

They are both really good fighters and begin to throw each other around all fancy like while Maverick tackles Steroids Man and begins to fight him.

Maverick (Raining down punches on Steroids Man while Steroids Man wears a tuxedo): I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND!!! I SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOUR BEST MAN!!!

Phil tends to the injured Caleb.

Phil: You're going to make it!

Caleb: I don't think so.... this is the end for me...

The robot makes it on the stage and is going after Amanda. Jan has a gun in her dress however because she secretly never goes anywhere without a gun and shoots at the robot which does nothing.

Phil comes running and drop kicks the robot off stage and he lands hard on the floor. Phil jumps down and opens up his chest and pulls some wires and grabs a first aid kit. Phil climbs up and begins to work on Caleb when suddenly....

We see a hand come down and Phil gets stabbed in the back and looks behind to see Cyrus with his eye patch.

Cyrus: That's what you get punk!

Amanda sits up scared in her wedding dress crying as Jan comes to console and protect her as there's fighting all over.... Steroids Man and Maverick are exchanging blows... Dougette is fighting female Ian.... The Council of Heroes are having a hard time fighting off Revenge who seems to be getting larger and The League of Evil is starting to win the beat down against the cops.....

Suddenly the doors at the back of the castle behind the seats blow open to reveal Wooden Face with the evil professor William and Beach Tamer and Orangutan. They gaze upon the destruction and mass fighting.

Wooden Face: Oh come on!.... are we late or something?

Revenge smacks Polaroid Man across the room and he lands smack against the wall next to C.U.N.T (Wooden Face's bad-guy team) and slides down the wall covered in blood.

As the Council fights a giant Revenge......

Pylon Man (To Ultra Man): See? what does that guy do... take pictures with his face? None of us stand a chance against this guy but you!

Hawk Eyes: He's right this is messed up... why are we even here if none of us are needed?

Crochet Lady: I think we should just quit!

Ultra Man: Come on, you guys are all just as important as me!

Revenge comes over for a punch and Ultra Man dodges it and with his ring hand delivers a super punch that sends Revenge through another castle wall.

The other council members just look at Ultra Man blankly.

Hawk Eyes: Now which one of us could have done that?

Suddenly the castle shakes violently from all the damage and large rocks fall. one of them crushes The Human Tesla Device.

One of the ushers gets on the microphone who is really dedicated to his job.

Usher: Attention everyone, this castle is collapsing. If everyone could make a calm and orderly exit....

The castle is really collapsing now and everyone runs out and makes it out before the building falls down... that is everyone except the robot, The Human Tesla Device, Polaroid Man and the usher. Phil did manage to drag Caleb out of the building even though he was badly injured himself. Phil collapses on top of Caleb with the knife still in his back.

All the good-guys and bad guys are kind of dirty from old castle dust and all take a moment to catch their breath and then everyone looks at each other.

Dougette: Ok, does everyone remember who they were fighting with? Let's go!

Dougette punches the crap out of female Ian while Maverick again attacks Steroids Man. Jan and Amanda go over to help Phil and Caleb while Ultra Man fights Revenge.

The remaining members of the Council Leave.

Ultra Man: Where are you going?

Hawk Eyes: We're done, you clearly got this and we're pretty sure Polaroid Man is dead... do you even care?

Crochet Lady: Yeah, this is not what I expected to be a part of when I signed up for this.

Pylon Man: Yeah, I'm sure you will be fine going solo Mr. Ring that makes you do anything.

They all begin to leave as Ultra Man still punches at the large Revenge.

Ultra Man: Half Man Half Speedboat.... Invisible Man... my oldest colleagues?

Half Man Half Speedboat: Sorry.

Ultra Man continues to fight Revenge alone.

Revenge: I'm sick of you, get out of my way so I can get Steroids Man!!!!

Meanwhile Metal Face and his League of Evil are finishing off the last of the cops. Doorstop is leaning down and forcing his large springy doorstop front down on a passed out cop, crushing him. Cyrus is stabbing people. Pigeon Man is head butting people with his spiky head and pecking at them. Magnet Hands is wandering around begging people to help get his hands apart as they became stuck together. Fred the Destroyer of Holiday Spirit is strangling someone with Christmas garland. And Earthquake.......

Cut to Chinese All you can eat buffet.

Earthquake is talking to the Manager of the Chinese restaurant next to an empty buffet table.

Earthquake: What do you mean there's no more food?

Chinese Restaurant Owner: I'm sorry sir.... you ate everything.

Earthquake: NOT YET I DIDN'T!

Earthquake reaches down and takes a large bite out of the restaurant owner's arm and as blood squirts out all over, Earthquake falls down and has a severe heart attack.

~~~~~~~

Maverick and Steroids Man are strangling each other.

Maverick: How come you never hang out with me anymore?

Steroids Man: Because of shazam! like this!!!

Maverick: I would have loved to be your best man!!!!

Steroids Man: I would have had you but you aren't as fun since you became two people!

Maverick suddenly stops fighting Steroids Man.

Dave: Sorry man.... I ran out of pot on the way over here.... I find if I stay high with this new type of weed I got... I can keep Maverick away.... are we cool?

Steroids Man: Help me out here and we're cool.

Revenge grows stronger and also in pain and falls to his knees.

Ultra Man: I'm doing it! I guess I never did need them after all!

Revenge injects himself with some things and grows even larger.

Ultra Man: Oh shazam!.

Revenge finally beats the crap out of Ultra Man and sends him flying.

Revenge: Must stay alive long enough.... to KILL STEROIDS MAN!

Revenge is ENORMUS now and looking like a mutated freak and approaches Steroids Man and Dave.

Steroids Man: Dave... nows your chance to help me out.

Dave (Smoking a bong): What man.... heheheheh (stoned laughter)

Revenge backhands Dave with his huge deformed hand and Dave goes flying up high in the air and far away until he's just a speck.

Steroids Man: Real nice!

Steroids Man looks over at Amanda to make sure she's safe, he has been doing this the whole time.

Steroids Man (To Amanda): I love you!

Amanda (Shouting): I love you!!!

Steroids Man takes extra steroids syringes and attacks Revenge.

As Metal Face and The League of Evil are finally done fighting the cops, they approach Amanda, Jan, Phil and Caleb. Dougette is finally done cutting off Ian's head and stands between Metal Face with his League and Amanda.

Dougette (covered in blood): If you want to get to them, you have to get through me!

Metal Face: Out of my way you freak!

Metal Face approaches and Dougette swings her knife, but metal face blocks it with his arm and is fine as Metal Face is wearing his old metal gauntlets. Metal Face punches Dougette in the face a few times and she collapses.

Amanda: Oh crap!

Jan runs to stop Metal Face but he takes her out as well. It's just Amanda alone now with a very injured Phil and Caleb.

Wooden Face: Metal Face!

Wooden Face intercepts Metal Face and the League of Evil with his own group consisting of Professor William, Beach Tamer and her electrified whip and Orangutan.

Wooden Face: We're taking over here, son.

Metal Face: Damn it daddy! I WANT TO DO THIS!!!!

Metal Face begins to throw a tantrum and flail his arms wildly.

Metal Face: I HAVE MY OWN FRIENDS NOW AND I'M GOING TO KILL THE GOODGUY AND IT'S GOING TO BE ALL ME ME ME ME ME!!!

Pigeon Man, Fred, Cyrus, Doorstop and Magnet Hands all look at each other concerned for Metal Face's mind.

Metal Face: Now out of my way Dad, I'm killing steroids Man's wife!

Wooden Face: No, I am!

Amanda is just frozen and is concerned about Dougette, Jan, Phil and Caleb who are all knocked out and Steroids Man who is very occupied fighting Revenge.

Metal Face: We're doing this and that's that, try and stop us!

Wooden Face: Oh we will! Orangutan! Beach Tamer!

Orangutan and Beach Tamer step up as Orangutan beats his chest and Beach Tamer raises her electric whip.

Metal Face: It's like 2 on 5, how do you think you stand a chance against my League of Evil?

Wooden Face: Don't worry about the size of my C.U.N.T, we are far more powerful!

Metal Face: You gotta drop that name Dad....

Wooden Face: Come on, just give it up, one of your guys has his hands stuck together for crying out loud.

Magnet Hands: Yeah... but I can still elbow people!

Wooden Face (to Orangutan and Beach Tamer): Kill them.

Orangutan and Beach Tamer begin to fight with Pigeon Man, Cyrus, Fred, Magnet Hands and Door Stop! Meanwhile Metal Face and Wooden Face engage and start fighting.

Metal Face: I'm going to take you down dad!

Wooden Face: I'm going to drop you like that time I dropped you on the floor when you were a baby!

Professor William watches this but then focuses his attention to Steroids Man. William blames Steroids Man for his Dad's death and is hell bent on revenge.

William: I been waiting for this.

William is a genius and brings over a crazy laser weapon he designed to kill Steroids Man.

~~

A bus full of elderly people stop by the fight scene and Dr. Bad gets out.

Dr. Bad: I'm gonna kill you Mr. Styrofoam......

*pause*

Dr. Bad: The sun is making my skin hurt and that grass looks too pointy for my liking...

Dr. Bad gets back in the bus.

~~~

Flying Fred and Crazy Carl are fighting near a cliff.

Flying Fred: You'll never catch me when I fly off this cliff!

Crazy Carl: Oh yes I will!

Flying Fred jumps off the cliff and Crazy Carl follows.

They both die.

~~~

As C.U.N.T fights the League of Evil, Steroids Man is still busy with Revenge.

Revenge: Damn you Steroids Man, why won't you die!?!?

Revenge is so huge that it looks like a giant blue monster fighting a midget in a tux.

Steroids Man: Why do you hate me so much!!?

Revenge: You tipped over my wheel chair!!!!

Steroids Man: That was smurf forever ago!!!! Let's MOVE ON!!!

Revenge: YOU NEED TO DIE!

They struggle and push each other back and forth as William appears in the background with his high tech weapon.

William: Steroids Man!!!

Steroids Man: WHAT?!??!?!

William: DIE FOR YOUR SINS!!!!

William fires the high tech weapon... which is so powerful the kickback sends William flying back violently and he hits his head on a rock. Steroids Man dodges the laser beam and Revenge absorbs the full blast and gets blown a few blocks away.

Steroids Man: Finally!

Steroids Man looks to Amanda.

Steroids Man: I'm coming!!!

Steroids Man makes his way back to Amanda when in the distance is Steve.... the Dairy Queen employee who really wanted to shoot someone today.

Steve: Here's my wedding gift Steroids Man!

Steve takes a shot at Amanda and it hits her right in the heart..... she falls to her knees in slow motion and everything goes silent. We can see Steroids Man screaming but it's still slow motion and silent as he approaches.... we hear sad music and Amanda collapses. All the bad guys fighting each other stop and look on in awe at what just happened.

Steroids Man comes over and holds Amanda in his arms.

Steve: What have I done....

Steve takes the gun and puts it in his mouth and blows his brains out.

Steroids Man: Amanda!!!!

The villains gather around Steroids Man who is holding Amanda and form a circle around him. Metal Face and Wooden Face put aside their differences to complete the circle.

Steroids Man: Why..... why did this have to happen.....

Amanda: Steroids Man.....

Steroids Man cries.

Amanda: I will always.... *cough* love you....

Amanda goes limp in Steroids Man's arms.

Steroids Man: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





















































Steroids Man cries and tears roll down his face as he hugs Amanda's lifeless body.

Suddenly Amanda coughs a bit and then opens her eyes and stands up. Steroids Man stands up with her. The bad-guys are paralyzed with shock.

Steroids Man: What's going on....

Amanda: Oh man, that hurt like HELL!!!

Amanda reaches down her dress and picks out the bullet.

Amanda: I'm going to have a bruise on my tit now.

Steroids Man: But how...

Amanda: Phil rigged up this very thin, very lightweight bulletproof thing to wear under my dress... come on we knew something crazy would happen today.

Metal Face: What a rip!

Steroids Man and Amanda hug and Caleb tries to talk.

Caleb: *cough* There's one thing... left to do...

Amanda and Steroids Man look down at Caleb while hugging.

Caleb: I now pronounce you husband and wife.... *choke* ... you may now kiss the bride!

Amanda and Steroids Man kiss passionately as the bad guys still look on from their formed circle.

Wooden Face: So... we should probably kill them now?

Steroids Man: I got to fight these bad guys baby.

Amanda: Hey, we're in this together. You've already seen I can look out for myself, so let's kick some bottom as husband and wife!

Amanda and Steroids Man begin to break out of the circle by punching and kicking at the bad guys, still wearing a wedding dress and tuxedo.

Amanda punches Pigeon Man in the face and kicks him in the balls.

Steroids Man takes some steroids and punches out the Orangutan and chokes him out with an arm hold.

Cyrus swings his knife at Amanda and she gets some of her dress cut, but she then grabs Cyrus's knife hand and elbows his knife arm and Cyrus drops the knife. She then takes Cyrus's hand and does a judo flip and then steps on his one eye with her heel.

Cyrus: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Magnet Hands: smurf this!

Magnet hands runs away with his hands still stuck together.

Fred the Destroyer of Holiday Spirit has various Christmas ornaments on him and Steroids Man takes a decorative bulb and crams it in Fred's Mouth. With the bulb in Fred's mouth, Steroids Man does an upper cut and the glass shatters and Fred screams in pain.

Beach Tamer whips at Amanda with her electrified whip and Amanda dodges and then kicks Beach Tamer into a small pond where the current fries her until the power in her whip dies.

The Doorstop comes at Steroids Man. Steroids Man uses his strength and he yanks down on the springy large doorstop on The Human Doorstop's chest and it bounces up and hits The Human Doorstop in the face, knocking him out.

Wooden Face punches at Amanda and she expertly dodges the punches and then grabs Wooden Face's hands, makes him point his own fingers and then shoves his own fingers into his eye holes and Wooden Face falls down in pain and screams as she steps on his throat.

Steroids Man: Well, I hope you're ready to get your bottom kicked Metal Face, because everyone else has been defeated!

Steroids Man looks over to see Metal Face in the distance running like hell.

Amanda comes over to Steroids Man and they both look at each other and smile in their dirty wedding attire.

Steroids Man: We did it! We are finally married!

Steroids Man picks up Amanda and spins her around and they hug and kiss some more.

Amanda: And we defeated all the bad guys together.

Steroids Man: With The Manager gone and all these clowns taken care of I know our lives will be great together.

Amanda: And there's nobody else I would rather spend my life with than you!

Steroids Man and Amanda have another wonderful long kiss as the sun sets and sirens roar in the background.

--The End.

[Wesley]

Revenge did not really die... that we know of. And Maverick/Dave just flew into the distance like in those Japanese cartoons. And Metal Face?

As far as weddings, this one was spectacular! I can totally see how we may have a few Special Episodes in the future, just one-offs, nothing deep or meaningful to the big plot.

Oh, when I think of Doug, I think of him riding his motorcycle in the desert, and in my head he looks like this:

... crap, I can't find the picture I am looking for...

[Wesley]

And we still don't know where Steroids Man came from, who his parents are, his mysterious connection with The Manager, what time ripples occurred from his jaunt to the 1920s......

[Clarence]

So I didn't give you the amount of closure you wanted for this series?

[Wesley]

It is impossible to neatly and concisely "Close" all the crazy loose ends and plot twists you have created over the past 100 episodes. This is not a bad thing, though! Like I said, it makes it possible for a random episode every once in a while in the future!

If you had the time and inclination, you could even make a spinoff... The Maverick Files... where you show all the crazy training and adventures Maverick/Dave gets himself into in South America and stuff.

[Clarence]

I'm more interested in what Pencil Man has been up to all this time.

[Wesley]

He could not keep up with modernization, got drunk, and sharpened himself to death.

[Clarence]

OMg that's awesome

[Clarence]

Anyone else have a chance to check this out? What happened to the other two readers, Chex and Clovvach lol