Chapter 99 --> Murderous Mindsets

[Clarence]

Steroids Man is meeting with the council of heroes.

A skinny Ultra Man and also Pylon Man, Crochet Lady, Polaroid Man, Half Man / Half Speed Boat, Hawk Eyes and the invisible man.

Steroids Man: Hey guys... what's up?

Ultra Man: Have you come back to give me my ring??

Steroids Man looks at his hand and realizes he still has Ultra Man's ring on.

Steroids Man: Yes... yes.... the ring....

Steroids Man takes it off and hands it to Ultra Man.

Steroids Man: Here ya go.

Ultra Man takes the ring and puts it on and then becomes big and bulky again, he immediately punches Steroids Man in the jaw and he falls on his bottom. Steroids Man quickly gets up feeling his jaw.

Steroids Man: Ouch... what the hell was that?

Steroids Man: That was for taking my ring... AGAIN! And being an balloon knot, what the hell are you even doing here anyway?

Steroids Man: Well... can ya keep a secret?

Everyone just gives Steroids Man an evil look.

Steroids Man: Ok, here it is ... I'm getting married and the wedding is next Saturday!!

Hawk Eyes: Why do we give a shazam!?

Steroids Man: Because your all invited!

Hawk Eyes: Dude, are you serious? Last week you kicked all our asses, why would we come to your stupid wedding?

Steroids Man: Man, I already told you, I needed to kick your bottom to save the world, which I did. I saved the crap out of this planet! And that's my third time! THREE!

Everyone looks pissed while Steroids holds up 3 fingers.

Steroids Man: How many times did you guys save the world? Ohhhh.... that's right... you didn't save the world did ya?

Ultra Man suddenly has an evil smile on his face.

Ultra Man: Fine, we will go to the wedding.

Steroids Man: Really?

Half Man Half Speedboat: We are?

Invisible Man: What the...

Ultra Man: Shut up.... (to Steroids Man) .... yes we are going.

Steroids Man: Awesome! But keep it on the hush hush.

Crochet Lady: Why?

Steroids Man: I don't want any baddies or weirdos to show up and try to ruin things, I need it to be PERFECT!

The council members all look at each other mischievously.

Ultra Man: Ok, you can leave now.

Steroids Man: Ok, tootles.

Ultra Man: Toot... Tootles? Who the smurf says .... oh just get the smurf out!

Steroids Man leaves and Ultra Man pants heavily and breaths in an Asthma inhaler.

Polaroid Man: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Ultra Man: Tell everybody!

All the council members begin making phone calls and posting on the internet and spreading word of the wedding....

~~~~~~~~~~

Somewhere .... in a mysterious area is Maverick. We see him wearing a green camouflaged blazer and his hair is all crazy and mangy. In a room with red walls he loads guns into a jeep.

Maverick: So... that balloon knot is getting married huh? And he didn't even invite me as the best man HUH?!?!? I'm going to kill him at his wedding!!!! Then we will see who the best man should be!! ME!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steroids Man is in the shower with Amanda. Naked!

They are hugging and kissing and talking about the wedding.

Amanda: *giggles* I'm so happy, in only 1 week we will finally be married.

Steroids Man: I'm so happy! And with The Manager gone and all my bad-guys dead.... I can finally live in peace with you!

Amanda: This is the best! whoa.... that's quite the boner you have there!

Steroids Man: I CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE tickle fight AGAIN!!!!!

Amanda: I know baby, but it's a good thing that we held off having tickle fight! The honeymoon will be extra awesome!

Steroids Man: Yes... good thing we didn't have tickle fight for months... or hand jobs or blow jobs.... I'm pretty sure this boner is never going away.

Amanda: Oh crap... we're out of shampoo..... would you mind?

Steroids Man: Look at this boner! I can't go anywhere!

Amanda: Fine.

Amanda gets out of the shower soaking wet and walks to the shelf with the new bottle of shampoo on it. She picks it up.

Amanda: Catch!

Amanda throws the bottle at Steroids Man and it hits him in the head, he falls over and gets knocked out cold!

Amanda: Holy crap! Steroids Man!

Amanda goes over to Steroids Man who is laying down in the tub with the water running on him, but he's not bleeding... he's just out cold...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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From Steroids Man's eyes we see them open and close and look up at the sky... in the distance we can hear a female's voice "Steroids Man .... Steroids Man..."

Steroids Man sits up and looks around... it's like he's in some kind of wonderful nature park.

Steroids Man looks over and sees a very old friend and then stands up quickly. It's Stephanie... Steroids Man dated her in season two. She's with some guy with a tiny mustache and a rounded hat.

Steroids Man: Stephanie.... what the ... but .... you died and.... who the hell is that?

Stephanie: This is my boyfriend... Charlie Chaplin.

Steroids Man (rubbing his head): What the hell is going on?

Stephanie: I'm dead, remember? I fell into lava.

Steroids Man: But...

Stephanie: This is heaven.

Steroids Man: Does that mean...

Stephanie: No you're not dead, you're just having an out of body experience.

Steroids Man: I see....

Stephanie: So I hear you're getting married huh?

Steroids Man: How did ya know?

Stephanie: The news has spread all over the world man, and ya got a lot of enemies out to get ya.

Steroids Man: Are you cool with me getting married?

Stephanie: Yes obviously, I moved on, my life has gotten a lot better since I died. Charlie might be a silent film actor, but he ain't no silent in bed *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*

Steroids Man: Right....

Stephanie: Get it?

Steroids Man: Yeah....

Stephanie: What I'm saying is he's loud when he's smurf me, and he's into the kinkiest shazam!!

Steroids Man: Ok why am I hearing this? Why am I even here? Why are you showing up?

Stephanie: I just wanted to let you know that I'm happy for you and Amanda.

Steroids Man: You mean it? Seems like we might have had something special too.... before it ended tragically.

Stephanie: I'm a Shay. And back then I had some bad dudes after me, I was just using you as a place to hide out. And who else was I going to smurf in that cave? That creepy manager guy or that skinny dope head?

Steroids Man: I see... so this is real, I'm really talking to you in heaven?

Stephanie: It would seem that way.... or either that or you kinda feel guilty for finding someone else after I died and this is your way of comforting yourself... who knows.

Steroids Man: Hmmmm..

Stephanie: By the way, how the hell did you get knocked out by a shampoo bottle? I once seen a truck hit your head while you were bent down tying your shoe lace! And then you went on to win a poker tournament!

Steroids Man: Ok, I want to wake up now. I want to be back with Amanda!

Stephanie: You have to wake yourself up buddy.

Steroids Man: How can I do that?

Stephanie: I know, I'll traumatize you awake!

Steroids Man: What do you mean....

Stephanie and Charlie Chapman begin to do nasty kinky stuff to each other.

~~~~

Steroids Man wakes up screaming and looks over to see Amanda stroking him in the shower.

Steroids Man: Amanda!

Amanda: I knew if I pumped it enough times you would wake!

Steroids Man: Well are you going to finish me off?

Amanda: No touchy until the wedding!

Steroids Man: OH COME ON!!!!!! I'M HORNY!!!

~~~~~

Inside a secret laboratory we see all kinds of machinery and flashing lights and a large dome shaped machine with huge doors... the doors open and smoke clears and a figure walks out..... blue and covered with wires and glowing green parts.

Revenge: Damn it.... my mutation... it's growing out of control...........

Revenge has body parts growing and bulging and he injects himself with a syringe of glowing green goo and gets back under control. He looks large and powerful but also kind of messed up.

Revenge: Must stay alive.... must get REVENGE on Steroids Man.... everyone thinks I'm dead but it will take more than a building collapsing on me to kill this guy off! I'm going to ruin your wedding Steroids Man and get my revenge once for all!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Cut to Dave inside a room with blue walls, wearing a white t-shirt.

Dave: I'm so happy Steroids Man is getting married! I can't wait!

Dave takes a huge bong hit.

Dave: Yeah, they will be so happy! I better put this coffee maker in the jeep for the wedding gift! Can't wait to see him again!

~~~~~~~

Dougette is in Phil's office.

Dougette: Check it out, the perfect wedding gift!

Dougette has one of those hand exercising tools that pivot up and down. Example here: https://www.shakeweight.com/

Phil: I seen those on TV, but is that really a sensible wedding gift?

Dougette: Of course it is, Amanda can work on her arm strength so she can better jerk off Steroids Man!

Phil: Get out of my office.

Dougette leaves and Steroids Man and Amanda enter.

Phil: Hey guys.

Amanda: Steroids Man has something to ask you. *nudges Steroids Man's arm*

Steroids Man: *sigh* ... will you be my best man?

Phil: Really?

Steroids Man: Yes... you kinda of suck but you have helped me greatly all these years ... so yeah your the only real person who can fill that role.

Phil: I will do it!

Steroids Man (Monotone): Yay....

~~~~

Steroids Man and Amanda are in the living room watching TV.

Steroids Man: So... we got Phil as the best man.... but who is going to be your woman of honor?

Amanda: You mean Maid of honor?

Steroids Man: Sure. I mean the only real girl we know is Dougette.

Amanda: Yeah right! It's going to be Jan.

Steroids Man: The police officer that tried to shoot you?

Amanda: Yes, but she was only doing her job. As for Dougette he can stand on my side too I guess only because he was part of saving the world.

Steroids Man: Yeah, might as well have the robot up there too.

The robot enters the room.

The Robot: WHAT?

Steroids Man: You're going to be one of the groomsman.

The Robot: ARE YOU SURE... MAYBE I SHOULDN'T BE A PART OF THE WEDDING....

Steroids Man: Yeah we all became one big stupid family now so you're there.

The robot: WHAT IF I RUIN THE WEDDING... I CAN'T I'M TOO NERVOUS....

Amanda: Just do it damn it.

The robot: OHHHH THIS IS BAD VERY BAD.

Steroids Man: Man what the hell is wrong with you?

The robot: NOTHING!!!

The robot runs into the next room.

Amanda: What the hell?

Steroids Man: What?

Amanda: Our wedding is all over the news!

Steroids Man: How the hell did that happen?

~~

The robot has just left the living room of Amanda and is very panicked.

The robot: THIS IS BAD.... VERY VERY BAD... WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???

###FLASHBACK TO EPISODE 86 ~ DEMON HUNTER###

Robot: MASTER?

The Manger: Wait..... you can see me?

Robot: YES.... YES I CAN.

The Manager: And you are programmed to obey me? Even though you wanted to kill me before? (See season 3 - My Robot Enemy)

Robot: MY PROGRAMMING HAS BEEN ALTERED SINCE THEN AND IT APPEARS I HAVE BEEN RESET TO OBEY YOU MY MASTER!

The Manager: Good... I may need you later depending on how my plan works out.... so listen to me carefully....

Robot: OK.....

The Manager: Steroids Man will never get married as long as I'm around, if Steroids Man somehow manages to get to the alter... you will kill Amanda as soon as she finishes saying "I do"

Robot: YES MASTER, AMANDA WILL DIE IF SHE SAYS "I DO" AT THE WEDDING.

The Manager: Nobody must know of this plan, you must not tell anyone nor hint to it.

###BACK TO PRESENT###

The robot: I'M GOING TO ROBO-HELL FOR THIS!

~~~~~~

Watching TV with the news of Steroids Man and Amanda's wedding is a mysterious girl.... long blond hair... we can only see her back to the TV and smoke rising from a cigar.

Mysterious woman: The time has come...... the time to kill Amanda.... and then I will marry Steroids Man! HAM SANDWICHES!!!!!

~~~~~

On a ship out in the ocean, a man with a wooden face is at the wheel. His colleague, William, a mad scientist joins his side. In the background are Orangutan and Beach Tamer.

Wooden Face: Yes, I did hear the news, why do you think we are headed for land?

William: Then.... we can kill Steroids Man?

Wooden Face: Yes, I am going to accomplish what my son never could.... Steroids Man will die and I will rise to the ranks and become the world's number one villain!

~~~~

Maverick, with his stylish army jacket and white shirt, stands in a red room holding some kind of advanced crossbow with technology on it.

Maverick: I'm going to shoot you right through the heart and bury you deep, DEEP beneath the earth! Then I'll kill all your friends by throwing them into a pit of lava!

~~~~~

The council of heroes:

Ultra Man: Our plan has worked, through our connections the whole world knows of Steroids Man's marriage... it's sure to be ruined.

Crochet Lady: Damn, you really hate that guy huh?

Ultra Man takes out his medical cream for his eczema problems and rubs it on himself.

Ultra Man: Yes... I hate Steroids Man and soon is wedding will be smurf! If some misfit doesn't show up to ruin the wedding, then I will!

~~~~~~

Steroids Man and Amanda are at this elaborate castle, where inside they are setting up the area where they will be married.

Steroids Man brings in a huge golden horse because Amanda loves Horses as a decoration.

Amanda: Babe, what are you doing?

Steroids Man: I want this to be the biggest and most awesome wedding ever! I am going all out and spending a fortune on this!

Amanda: No baby, you don't need to do that. This isn't about money or fanciness... it's about US. Let's just keep it simple and romantic. I'm not in it for the money.

Steroids Man: You sure?

Amanda: Yes love, all I want is you.

Steroids Man: Ok.

Steroids Man begins punching the gold horse and it crumbles to pieces.

Amanda: You didn't have to do that....

Steroids Man: Hey... does it matter like the whole world knows we're getting married on May 27th?

Amanda: Why would it? Let them share in our joy.

Steroids Man: Yeah... I just can't shake the feeling that maybe a bad-guy would show up?

Amanda: What bad-guy? Didn't you like defeat them all?

Steroids Man: I think so....

Amanda: No worries babe, just you and me. By which I mean we're moving to our own place away from those weirdos we live with, right?

Steroids Man: Hells yeah!

They hug and kiss and embrace, ready for their big day.

~~~~

Dave with his white shirt in a blue room folds a nice tuxedo.

Dave: I'm going to be some classy when I show up for this wedding!

Dave goes to a part of the room where the blue wall ends and a solid black line separates it vertically from a red walled room.

In the middle of the room is a jeep with the back open and Dave puts the packed tuxedo in a suit case in the back. Dave then suddenly puts on the army jacket.

Maverick: You know what else I should pack? THESE GRENADES!!! I'm going to bomb the smurf out of this wedding.

Maverick places grenades in the back and removes his jacket.

Dave: I better bring my good celebration bong!

~~~~~

At the Dairy Queen, a bored employee talks to a co-worker while making ice cream.

Steve: I am going to kill Steroids Man.

Lester: What? What are you talking about?

Steve: I just recently bought this gun and I really want to shoot somebody with it. I think I'll shoot Steroids Man in the face at his wedding.

Lester: Why Steroids Man?

Steve: I just think he's kind of a douche bag, ya know? I'm gonna shoot the guy.

Lester: I'm sorry you didn't get your raise this year but...

Steve: NO BUTS!!!!

~~~~~

We cut to Dr. Bad in the nursing home.

Nurse: Check this out Dr. Bad, Steroids Man is getting married (shows new paper)

Dr. Bad: looks a the paper.

Nurse: Don't you know this guy from your "bad guy days"?

Dr. Bad: I think there's poop coming out of me.... please help me....

Nurse: *sigh* you are quite the pooper today aren't you?

~~~~~

At Dr. Bad's old castle. Not the League of Evil castle, but Dr. Bad's old castle he used to own which was abandoned.

We hear a very evil and determined voice speaking.

Voice: The time has come! I have gathered you all here for one purpose and one purpose alone!

Magnet Hands!

Earthquake! (fatter than ever)

Human Tesla Device!

Pigeon Man! (spikes on his exposed metal skull now)

Cyrus! (with an eye patch)

Fred the Destroyer of Holiday Spirit! (Christmas themed bad-guy with a Santa hat)

Door Stop! (A man with a large scale springy door stop sticking out his chest)

This collection of evil doers all stand tall and are poised for war.

Magnet Hands: Steroids Man is going down! Let's just hope there's no metal cuff-links I can get a hold of, MAUAHAHAHAHAH!

Earthquake: I'm going to eat his wedding cake and poop all over the decorations!

Human Tesla Device: I'm going to shake things up alight!

Pigeon Man: I think Steroids Man will get the point... when I gore him with my new metal spiky head!

Cyrus: Steroids Man will die for what he did to me.... *pulls a knife* ... an eye for an eye I say. I'm also going to kill Phil too because he's a smurf jabberwocky. I was in prison and I learned a few tricks to smurf someone up and also I swear more!

Fred The Destroyer of Holiday Spirit: Well... it's not Christmas so my powers are weak... but I need the money.

Door Stop (bangs on chest): Nothing can stop a door stop!

Voice: You have been brought here and busted out of jail and now the time has come to reform The League of Evil....

Metal Face stands out of the shadows and is very lean and cut and finishes his sentence.

Metal Face... and KILL STEROIDS MAN!

All the bad-guys cheer!

~~~~~~~~~~



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~~ TO BE CONTINUED IN THE AMAZING 100th EPISODE!


...also if you're wondering why Metal Face is alive, see this: (the blue part is the part you didn't see)

Episode 87 - Fat Face... the rest of the story:

Wooden Face activates the self destruct on the large ship and meets with William, Beach Tamer and Orangutan on the other side of the ship.

Wooden Face: let's go!

They all get on the only escape speedboat and jet off.

Metal Face and Steroids Man are left on the burning and sinking ship both very tired and beat up.

Metal Face looks at a clock counting down from 20 seconds.

Metal Face: Oh shazam!....

Metal Face looks at a very tired and bulky Steroids Man who's still on his knees and sweating and panting heavily.

Metal Face: Well at least I'll get to see you die with me!

Suddenly an evil looking red force field surrounds Steroids Man and carries him off the ship. This is the work of The Manager.

Metal Face: No.... how can this be.... you NEED TO DIE!!!!!

Metal Face thinks quick and grabs ascuba diving mask thing and throws it on and jumps off the boat.

Steroids Man continues to float away from the ship and when he's far enough away the ship explodes in dramatic fashion.

Metal Face's fat bottom sinks deep in the ocean and he avoids any effects of the explosion as he's too far down.

On Wooden Face's speedboat.... (They couldn't see Steroids Man's escape)

Wooden Face: My son is dead... it's all over.... now we can focus on taking over the world!

Past the debris of Wooden Face's sunken ship, Metal Face rises and struggles to swim.

Metal Face: Damn it!!!! I'm so fat... and Steroids Man got away again!!!

Metal Face floats around for a while while seagulls peck at him and try to eat him until a whale hunting boat arrives and rescues Metal Face.... with a net.

Whale Poacher: Your bigger then the biggest Whale I have ever seen!

Metal Face: smurf you!

The boat is filled with criminals and a very attractive female criminal.

Female criminal: Leave him alone! I like big men who wear masks, I find it sexy.

Metal Face: Then get ready for the sexy ride of your life.

Metal Face dates the female criminal and they move to a quaint little town and get married.

Metal Face changes his life and settles down and enjoys his new lifestyle of being a fat guy with a sexy girlfriend.

Metal Face (never taking his mask off ever): I love you Lucy.

Lucy: I love you too Metal Face!

Metal Face: Damn it woman, I told you not to be so formal! You shall address me as Sir Metal Face Esquire The Great Super Formidable Advisory of Doom!

Lucy looks at him puzzled.

Metal Face: Sorry... hard to break my old ways... now shove this entire rotisserie chicken in my mouth!

Metal Face gets to know everyone in the community and continues to enjoy his life when....

Metal Face: Hey baby, can yo pump the car while I talk to my friend Craig?

Lucy: Ok!

Lucy pumps gas into Metal Face's beat up and run down Daewoo while Metal Face and Craig converse very close by.

Craig: Hey, is it true that you can fart fireballs?

Metal Face: Sure can! Must by my high calorie diet, watch this!

Metal Face sticks a lighter next to his fat bottom, bends over and shoots a fireball at Lucy while she pumps the gas.

KABOOM I TELLS YOU!!!

Metal Face rolls out of a large mushroom cloud of death and is engulfed in flames and stops, drops and rolls. Metal Face gets up after the flames are gone and most of his cellulite had burnt off.

Metal Face: My wife and best friend ... dead.....

*pause*

Metal Face: smurf it, I'm bored... time to find and kill Steroids Man!

And then of course Metal Face reformed the League of Evil as seen above ready for the wedding day!

[Clarence]

Steroids Man's and Amanda's wedding episode next episode!!!

[Wesley]

This episode is a little like filler, but very important filler! Like little appetizers before a fine gourmet meal. You have set up all the chess pieces, now it is time for the final match!

[Clarence]

Do you like how everyone is out to kill Steroids Man or Amanda and ruin their wedding? Even the Manager is involved in this.

[Wesley]

What? No, they are all just happy for his big day! Oh, except for Steve from the Dairy Queen.

That guy is bad news.

[Clarence]

What? No, they are all just happy for his big day! Oh, except for Steve from the Dairy Queen.

That guy is bad news.

More than you believe. And I already had this written before our hero's name Steve was revealed.