Chapter 151 --> The Revengers

[Clarence]

In the sky ... a strange thing flies high up in the air ... it looks like a space ship... could it be Star Trek?

The large space ship looking thing (formidable in size) begins to seemingly cloak and disappear or blend in with the sky.

Birds begin to crash into it and plummet to the earth as the large floating mechanical structure is now invisible.

Picking up where we left off when Weed Man left his conversation with Max to get more weed. As Weed Man unlocks his weed garage, birds drop out of the sky and land all around him.

Weed Man: That's .... odd....

Weed Man makes it into his garage and begins taking out various bags of weed and mixing his selections together to make the perfect bowl.

Weed Man: Yeah man... this is going to be sweet.

That's when Weed Man notices a black man standing in the garage with him wearing an eye patch.

Weed Man: What the?

Man in Eye Patch: I need your help!

Weed Man looks shocked and confused.

Weed Man: Are you a PIRATE?

Man in Eye Patch: What?

Weed Man: You're here to steal my weed!

Man in Eye Patch: No, I'm not! Listen...

The man in the eye patch steps forward and stumbles over a coffee table.

Man in Eye Patch: Damn it! I am sick of this mother-smurf depth perception from my mother-smurf eye patch!!

Weed Man: ... who are you? Are you one of the pirates of the Caribbean?

Man in Eye Patch: Because of my eye patch? Is that why you keep thinkin I'm a pirate???

Weed Man: Well yeah, I mean ... that's a dead give away *hauls back on the bong he just filled*

Man in eye Patch: Ok! I'm NOT a pirate! My name is Rick Feisty and I am a leader of a top secret hero group called ... THE REVENGERS!

Weed Man: Damn ...finally ... after all these years... I found the perfect weed mix for my pipe.

Rick Feisty: Are you gonna help us or what?

Weed Man: Sure man, why not? But only if I can bring all of my weed!

Rick Feisty: Fine.

Weed Man: oh! I got to tell my friends where I'm going!

Rick Feisty: This is a top secret mission my friend... if anyone knows it could jeopardize everything!!!

Weed Man: Well I got to let them at least know I'm gonna be gone for a bit... can I just leave a note that says that?

Rick Feisty: Ok... but I gotta proof read it.

Weed Man: Seriously?

Rick Feisty: Seriously! I can't let any top secret information get leaked!

Weed Man: I don't even know what's going on...

Rick Feisty: Just write the damn note!

Weed Man chooses his words carefully and writes the note and then shows it to Rick Feisty.

Rick Feisty looks the note over and then lowers the note and looks at Weed Man with a raised eye brow.

Rick Feisty: Are you smurf serious?

Weed Man: Yeah man, I worked hard on it.

Rick Feisty: Fine, whatever, let's just get going already.

They step out of the weed garage and Weed Man puts the note up. Suddenly two men with guns approach them.

Zeke: Have you guys seen a Sasquatch around here?

Phineas: We're gonna kill it and steal it's powers and then become rich.

Weed Man: Damn... can I buy weed from you guys?

Rick Feisty: We HAVE to go NOW!

Weed Man: Fine. Catch you guys later.

Weed Man and Rick Feisty disappear.

Phineas: The Sasquatch has to be in that mansion, let's just bust in there and get it!

And so, Zeke and Phineas proceed to bust into the mansion and chase Max into the woods with their guns.

~~~ Weed Man is HIGH above the sky (and on weed) looking down at the city.

Weed Man: Oh shazam! man...

Rick Feisty: I know. Isn't it something? The marvel of engeneering that allows this massive ship to ...

Weed Man: No I mean ... I need to bring more weed and bongs with me.

Rick Feisty: ... what?

Weed Man: We need to go back!

Rick Feisty: Hell no! We're not going back! We just left!

Weed Man: But I don't have enough weed for whatever journey I'm on...

Rick Feisty: We're on a "journey" to SAVE THE PLANET EARTH!

Weed Man: Yeah, I'm definitely going to need a lot of weed for that.

Rick Feisty: Son of a jabberwocky!

~~

The large flying ship remains invisible and heads back to the mansion, killing lots of birds along the way. Weed Man quickly runs into his weed garage after the Max thing happened but before Steve and family come home from the mall.

Weed Man loads up and heads back to the invisible ship. At the control area (or bridge) of the ship.

Weed Man (with two large duffel bags): Ok bro, I'm ready.

Rick Feisty: Seriously? You need to bring all that?

Weed Man: Actually I could grab some more.

Rick Feisty: NO!!! Let's go NOW!!!

Ship pilot: Yes commander!

The invisible ship takes off and accidentally crashes into the roof of the mansion a bit which causes some damage and pieces of the roof to fall on the driveway / lawn.

Rick Feisty: Damn it Laura!

Laura: Sorry, you rushed me!

So anyway, Steve and family come home and Steve reads over the note and has a concerned look on his face.

Amanda: What is it?

Steve reads the following from the note:

"Hey bro, I got some bad news. Even worse then that time I lost that ice cream cake. Remember that time it was my birthday but it was still good man because I had soooooo much weed. Oh man, today I came up with the prefect way to combine all my different types of weed to make the most POTENT bowl ... remind me to tell you about it before I forget. It's such a tasty blend. I fukin love rainbows soooo hard"

Steve: I .... don't know .... I think he left for some reason!

Amanda: Strange.

~~~

Weed Man is in the control room of the flying ship and is high as shazam!!

Weed Man: Oh man, he he he, *tokes* ... is this Star Wars?

Rick Feisty: No, this the hella ship... a secret flying ship that we use to ensure the world's safety and it turns invisible.

Weed Man (watching out the window): Is that why so many birds keep crashing into us?

Rick Feisty: Yes.... anyway, we are glad to have you join our team. You are the final "Revenger" we needed.

Weed Man: There's others?

Rick Feisty: Yes, it's time you met them.

Rick Feisty goes over to a large control panel with one huge button in the middle. This large button is the only button on a large, otherwise empty control panel. Rick Feisty presses his finger down but misses the button.

Rick Feisty: Wait....

Rick Feisty tries to press the button but misses again.

Rick Feisty: Hold on ... depth perception a little off...

Rick Feisty misses again.

Weed Man: You need some help with that man?

Rick Feisty: I CAN PRESS A DAMN BUTTON!

Rick Feisty misses again and gets pissed and simply throws his whole body on the control button. The button is now pressed and a door opens revealing The Revengers!!

Weed Man: Whoa...

We see 4 figures.....

-a normal looking man in a lab coat

-a man wearing a cape that looks like a red blanket and with long blonde hair that's holding a regular every day hammer

-a very sickly looking man in some kind of heavy gray armor with a light in the chest

-a man covered in red, white and blue and American flags as well as a garbage can shield with stars and stripes painted on it.

Weed Man busts a gut laughing and then gets up and smokes more weed.

Rick Feisty: What's so funny about my extraordinary team of super heroes?

Weed Man: Dude ... this is just a welfare version of The Avengers!

Everyone is shocked and angry.

Rick Feisty: How dare you!!!! The Avengers copied us!

Weed Man: ... what?

Rick Feisty: Yes, we saved Stan Lee as a child and he made comics out of us .... but exaggerated beyond belief!

Weed Man: That's ... so preposterous man! How high to do you think I am to believe that the Avengers was a story based off you guys!?

Hammer Man: A very ridiculous story, indeed! I mean the comic version of me has a hammer that's way too big and come on... he can control thunder and lightening?

Weed Man: So you can't?

Hammer Man: No, but I am an electrician.

Weed Man: Wow that's lame.

Rick Feisty: Lame or not, we are all that stands in the way of the biggest threat this world has ever seen! Will you join us?

Weed Man: Sure ... but I gotta get EXTRA high for this shazam!!

Suddenly a large screen turns on and a man in a red costume with a spider web drawn on his chest comes on.

Web Man (wimpy voice): Hey guys ... I was wondering if you had a chance to review my application to join you guys.... (takes inhaler)

Rick Feisty: Not yet Web Man, and stop calling us.

Rick Feisty mashes the control panel until the TV turns off.

Rick Feisty: That guy tries to join us like every week ... he just won't take a hint...

Weed Man: Ok guys, I'll play along ... so you say that you're the real live Avengers?

Rick Feisty: Revengers! It's REVENGERS!

Weed Man: Ok ... so you must be...

Lead Man (cough): I'm ... lead man. I made this lead suit ... it's very heavy and *coughs up blood* .... hurts to wear. I also think I'm dying.

Weed Man: Wow .... that sucks.

Hammer Man: And I'm of course I am Hammer Man from a land far, far away!

Weed Man: How far?

Hammer Man: Bosnia.

Weed Man: O.... k.....

Bruce Baxter: And I am Bruce Baxter, pleased to meet you! What ever you do, don't make me angry!

Weed Man (shaking hand): Oh wait, I get it! You're the guy who turns into a giant monster when you're mad, right?

Bruce Baxter: No... I don't turn into a monster ... but I do undergo a transformation.

Weed Man: What kind of transformation?

Bruce Baxter: Oh, I become a major balloon knot.

Weed Man: ... what?

America Man: It's true, he becomes a MAJOR piece of shazam! when he's angry. The things he'll say is just staggering.

Lead Man: It's true man, one time he transformed and the things he said cut me so deep I was suicidal for a while...

Weed Man: Ok....

America Man: And finally there's me! America Man! I'm actually removed from time! Unthawed from the 40s!

Weed Man: So they thawed you out after a heroic accident from the past?

America Man: Not really, I just kind of fell into a really cold lake and they found me 70 years later.

Weed Man ...

America Man: But I got these cool muscles from these injections.

Weed Man: You mean like Steroids Man? You're basically Steroids Man but wearing an American Flag?

Rick Feisty: Steroids Man? What a joke. There's a reason we never let him in our top secret group for cool guys.

America Man: I'm way cooler then Steroids Man! And much stronger too! Watch this!

America Man takes this random piece of rebar and struggles to bend it slightly.

Weed Man: Let me see that.

Weed Man takes the same rebar and effortlessly ties it in a knot.

America Man: ... well ... I weakened it for you.

Weed Man: What else can you do?

America Man: Well... I got leadership skills!

Weed Man: Oh, so you lead this group?

Rick Feisty: No, I do.

America Man: That's ... kind of true.

Weed Man: Wait, isn't there also suppose to be a guy who shoots arrows? Or a girl?

Hammer Man: No way man, girls suck.

Weed Man: Wow... how about we just move right along and save the world then?

Lead Man: PLANE!

Weed Man: What the...

Everyone looks out the control room window as a plane heads straight into them!

Rick Feisty: SHIELDS!!!!

They all watch and Weed Man smokes extra weed at the horrifying sight of a plane about to crash into them.

**KABOOM***

The plane crashes right into the invisible ship and explodes and rains firey parts down on the city and disintegrates.

Weed Man: What in the world was that about?

Laura: Damn ... seriously that's like the 15th plane that crashed into us, we got to stop flying invisible.

Rick Feisty: No ... we must stay invisible for our safety!

Weed Man: So what is this big threat that we all need to stop again?

Rick Feisty: This man!

Rick Feisty turns on the TV to reveal a picture of a man in a funky costume with a helmet that has reindeer horns and he's holding a strange glowing cube in one hand and a spear in the other.

Rick Feisty: We have to stop this man from destroying the world before it's too late!

Hammer Man: Yes, we must defeat my evil brother, Lonny.

Weed Man: Just one guy? I could have done this alone man.

Rick Feisty: No! Only as a team can you...

Laura: Commander! We're almost out of gas!

Rick Feisty: Son of a jabberwocky!

~~~

Show the 5 Revengers at a gas station with a bunch of oil drums.

America Man: Ok guys, we have to fill all these barrels with gasoline and then take them back to the ship. We have to do this like 20 times.

Lead Man: Better not forget where we parked!

Hammer Man: Oh shazam!, that's right ... it's invisible.

Weed Man: *sigh* Guys ... guess how much not fun I'm having.

America Man: Saving the world is never fun ... but somebody has to do it!

Weed Man (filling a barrel with gas): No, I promise you I've had much more fun saving the world before this.

~~~

Later everyone is back in the control room of the invisible ship after re-fueling.

Laura: Ok, we're fueled up and ready to take off!

Rick Feisty: Do it!

Laura feels around in her pockets ....

Laura: Ummm... hold on.

Laura looks around her station.

Laura: Hmmm....

Rick Feisty: What's wrong Laura?

Laura: I ummmm... lost the key commander.

Weed Man: You guys have a backup key right?

Rick Feisty: Of course not! That's a security risk!

Weed Man: Are you guys for real?

Weed Man has to smoke even more weed to avoid getting annoyed by these people.

Lead Man: Ok ... where have you been last?

Laura: Well I never left the ship, but I did jog all through it while you were all getting gas ... you know, trying to stay in shape ... it could be anywhere!

Weed Man: We have to try to find a set of keys in this enormous ship?

Zoom out for a moment to show the actual size and scope of this gargantuan ship.

Laura: Actually, it's just one loose key.

Weed Man: ...

America Man: Don't worry! We're The Revengers! Surely we can locate a simple key with much stealth!

Hammer Man (raising his hammer): Revengers assemble!

(5 days later)

America Man: We did it! Thanks to the power of teamwork!

Zoom out to show the control panel apart and wires hanging out.

Bruce Baxter: Yup, we hot wired this jabberwocky!

The invisible ship is now zooming through the skies!

Weed Man: So we're going to fight the evil guy now right?

Rick Feisty: Yes, we are sure to win as we have the element of surprise on our side!

Suddenly the TV comes on to reveal ... Lonny the king of misdeeds!

Lonny: WAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAAAAAH FOOLS! As if you could sneak up on ME! LONNY!!!

Rick Feisty: Damn it! He must have a man on the inside!

Janitor: That bastard!!!

Everyone looks over at the janitor who quickly goes back to mopping.

Lonny: I see you added a new member to your pathetic group!

Weed Man: Hi there.

Lonny: Save the heroic speeches! You can send a million people after me! It won't make a difference!

Lonny begins to laugh for a really long time.

Rick Feisty: I'm just going to turn this off.

Rick Feisty throws himself on the controls and the TV breaks.

Lead Man: Guys ... I'm nervous ... what if this job is too big for us?

Weed Man: ... I think it's too small.

Hammer Man: Lead Man is right ... are we ready for this?

America Man: Don't worry guys, he'll never get us behind my shield!

Weed Man: Hey guys, if you're worried about this for some reason, I have something that will take the edge off!

America Man: You mean ... we should all sing an inspirational song together?

Weed Man: What the smurf are you talking about? I'm saying let's all get high as shazam!!

America Man: What do you think boss? Can we? Can we? Can we please?

Rick Feisty: Yeah, I think we're gonna need too!

Weed Man sets up the bong with his newly discovered potent weed mix and begins passing it around. One by one they all inhale.

As the bong gets passed around it makes it to Bruce Baxter.

Bruce Baxter: I'm pretty excited about this, guys!

Rick Feisty: Wait STOP!

Rick Feisty takes the bong away from Bruce Baxter and Bruce looks pissed.

Bruce Baxter: What's your STORY Rick???

Rick Feisty: We have a great battle coming up. Sure we all should relax beforehand but ... we need you to get angry when the time comes and there's no way you're getting angry smoking this awesome shazam!!

Rick Feisty takes another sweet sweet bong hit.

Bruce Baxter: This is febreeze! Give me some weed!

Rick Feisty: No.

Bruce Baxter: WHY DO YOU GUYS GET TO HAVE ALL THE FUN!?!?!?!?!

Bruce begins to shake and everyone moves back.

Lead Man: Uh oh....

Weed Man: Hmmmm?

Rick Feisty: RED ALERT!

Suddenly all the lights turn red and an alarm sounds.

Bruce Baxter: It's ... HAPPENING!!!

Bruce turns really red and rips his shirt a little bit and after several attempts.

Bruce Baxter: TRANSFORMATION COMPLETE!

Weed Man: You look the same to me...

Bruce Baxter: GO smurf YOURSELF IN YOUR OWN bottom YOU HIPPIE PIECE OF shazam!!!!!

Hammer Man (crying): He's too powerful ... he'll destroy us all ... feeling wise.

Bruce Baxter: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING OVER THERE HAMMER MAN!!!?!?!!? YOU AND YOUR PIECE OF shazam! FAMILY!!! I HOPE YOUR DYING DAD DIES EVEN MORE!

Rick Feisty: You can't say these things!!!!

Bruce Baxter: SHUT YOUR SORRY bottom UP BEFORE I POKE OUT YOUR OTHER EYE!

Weed Man: How did you lose that eye anyway? Some kind of awesome battle?

Rick Feisty: No, I poked it out on a straw from one of those juice cups.

Weed Man: Man.... you guys are just disappointing in every possible way.

Bruce Baxter: YOU GUYS SHUT UP NOW AND LISTEN TO ME BECAUSE I HAVE MANY MORE HORRIBLE THINGS TO SAY!!! THINGS ARE GOING TO GET EXTRA PERSONAL NOW!

Weed Man suddenly jumps up and forces a weed cookie down Bruce's throat.

Bruce: What the ......

Bruce collapses and then turns back to normal Bruce.

Bruce (looking at his hands in awe): Whoa.... I'm back to my normal form .... (looking around) ... oh gosh... I didn't hurt anyone did I?

Hammer Man (covered in tears and using his blanket/cape to wipe): No.... *sniff*

Laura: Hey guys ... this weed is so awesome!

Weed Man: Isn't it?

Laura: Yeah man... I'm so high I totally forget how to fly this ship ... but I'm also soooo happy at the same time.

Weed Man: Wha....

Weed Man looks out the window to see they are moments away from crashing into a city!!!

Weed Man: Ummmm... can any of you guys fly this thing... cause I think we may be in trouble here...

Rick Feisty: Revengers assemble! *tokes*

All The Revengers quickly play around with the controls in an attempt to prevent the crash!

Bruce Baxter: Hahahhahaa look at all the buttons ... there's so many!

America Man: Guys! This one is flashing like crazy ... what does it mean?? It's GORGEOUS!!!

Lead Man: Man ... look at all the colours man .... who ever painted these buttons was a good painter he he he he.

Rick Feisty (looking out the window): I don't know why we're all rushing, it looks like the ground is at least 5,000 miles away...

***KABOOM!!!***

An explosion of epic proportions as the invisible ship crashes to the earth and creates a blast comparable to a nuclear bomb!!!

As the dust settles and the smoke clears and the fires die down ... Lonnie approaches the scene.

Lonnie: WAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHA!!!! The Revengers are NO MORE!

Lonnie holds up a strange glowing cube.

Lonnie: This means the cube of destiny is mine, ALL MINE and those JERK FACES will stop always trying to take it from me! IT BELONGS TO ME AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!!!

Lonnie laughs an increasingly insane laugh and then notices some wreckage moving in the distance.

Lonnie: ....what the?

A figure makes his way out of the wreckage covered in ash and with tattered clothes.

Lonnie: Nobody could have survived that!!!

Weed Man did survive and makes his way through the burning rubble. At one point he lights a fresh joint with the fires from the crash scene.

Weed Man: Hey there.

Lonnie: There's no way you could have survived that!

Weed Man: Yeah, but I did though.

Lonnie (aiming his spear): Well enjoy these extra few seconds ... because now you're going to die even more so!

Voice off screen: Not so fast!

Lonnie: Huh?

Show a man in a nice blue suit with some kind of strange weapon.

Lonnie: Who are you?

Man in suit: I'm agent Coleman. Like my gun?

Lonnie: ...what does it do?

Agent Coleman: I'm not sure... but I bet it's crazy! Take one more step if you want to find out!!

Lonnie: No ... that gun looks scary. I just surrender, ok?

Agent Coleman: You still must be stopped! So for the good of the world, I end you!!

Agent Coleman presses the trigger of the strange weapon.

Lonnie: Oh no!!!!

Weed Man watches on while eating a small bag of Doritos ... not sure where or how he got those.

Back to Agent Coleman and his gun that makes bubbles..... a few bubbles hits Lonnie in the face and burst.

Agent Coleman: Crap... I grabbed the decoy bubble gun instead of the awesome plama rifle.

Lonnie: AHA!!

Lonnie quickly moves left and then right and confuses Agent Coleman .... Lonnie then runs all the away around Agent Coleman and stabs him in the back with his spear!

Agent Coleman: MY LIFE!!!!

Agent Coleman collapses with the spear in his body.

Weed Man: New guy!!!

Weed Man goes over to the dying agent...

Weed Man: Are you ok?

Agent Coleman: No... I got impaled a whole bunch...

Weed Man: I'm going to get you to a hospital little dude.

Agent Coleman: Too late... I'm dying but ... *cough* now you'll have something to .... *dies*

Weed Man: Something to what? Something to eat? Do you know what restaurants are around?

Lonnie begins to tap on Weed Man's back while Weed Man kneels down over the dead agent.

Lonnie: Ummm... so are we going to fight or.....

Weed Man: One minute! I need to find out what that last word was!

Lonnie: Come on!

Lonnie keeps tapping on Weed Man's shoulder.

Lonnie: Come on already!

Weed Man: Back off for a second man!

Weed Man slaps Lonnie from below and doesn't mean to use so much force because Lonnie gets sent flying through the air and lands in a body of water.

Weed Man: Whoops ... sorry reindeer dude.

Lonnie is desperately trying to swim but ...

Lonnie: I can't swim and my awesome super villain attire is weighing me down!

Lonnie dies.

Weed Man: I'm going home now.