Chapter 175 - Picking up the Pieces

[Clarence]

Our heroes are traveling through space on their familiar looking spaceship. The ship seems to be repaired and less crappy in appearance.

Inside, our heroes work tirelessly to get the ship in working order. Info works non-stop on repairs and Weed Man has a lot of energy as well, despite being stoned all the time. Phil fixes high up things while flying and everyone works as a great team to get things done.

A few days later our heroes meet in the command center/bridge.

Steroids Man, Weed Man, Phil, Super Bob, Benny, Krilleth and Info are all here.

Super Bob: Well guys, we're all done! Everything is finally working and we are well on our way!

Everyone cheers and is very happy.

Super Bob: You all did great work! I'm also glad we picked up our new android friend who worked around the clock with no need for sleep or rest.

Info: It was great fun. Working like this allowed my CPU to avoid thinking about my desire to need to kill people.

Everyone else: ...

Phil: Well anyway, now we can find all the pieces to the device! It's important we get as many or all of these pieces before the Ultimate Evil gets them!

Steroids Man: What are we building again?

Phil: I'm not sure exactly how it works honestly ... or what it even does.

Steroids Man: ....

Phil: I just know it's evil and why the early angels had it disassembled and spread throughout the universe many eons ago, since as the pieces couldn't be destroyed.

Steroids Man: You're just a disorganized mess! How do you not know what it does???

Phil: *sigh* can we just get the pieces and do this thing and try to save the universe?

Steroids Man: I can't wait for this to be over. I've just been on so many adventures in my life and now that I'm dead ... I'm still doing this crap. I'm just tired and want to find peace and quiet.

Steroids Man leaves the room while the others look on concerned.

---

Steroids Man is sitting in the hallway drinking some gasoline when Phil approaches.

Phil: What are you doing?

Steroids Man: I'm Steroids Man and I can't even do steroids.

Phil: You don't need too. You're dead and in this form you can sustain your Steroids Man body and strength without needing sustenance.

Steroids Man: Well I miss doing living people things. I can't even get drunk even if I drink gasoline!

Steroids Man looks really sad and looks up at his halo.

Steroids Man: I'm dead .... and instead of finding myself in a better place, I'm here with you.

Phil: Ummm....

Steroids Man: When I fought the Anti-Christ last week he must have read my mind or something. He took the form of Amanda to trick me and ever since ... I been thinking of her a lot.

Steroids Man takes another swig of gasoline.

Phil: Maybe you should stop drinking gas...

Steroids Man: I just miss her so much. I just want to finally be with her again.

Phil sits down next to Steroids Man on the hallway floor.

Phil: There, there, things will get better and....

Steroids Man: Oh man, no, this wasn't an invitation. I don't want comfort from you. Send somebody I care about to talk to like Dave or even the robot guy.

Phil does a very exasperated sigh and walks away.

~~~

3 AM....

Everyone is sound asleep until Weed Man comes running down the halls, knocking on all the doors.

Weed Man: Everyone come quick! I found something spectacular!!!

Everyone sleepily follows Weed Man to the bridge. Info of course was already awake.

Phil: What is it? What's going on?

Weed Man: I found something AMAZING on that planet down there using the computer. We all have to go right now!

Super Bob: How did you get the password to the computer ... or know how to use it to find things on planets???

Weed Man: It was a pretty boring video game but I never lose at video games.

Super Bob: The computer is not a video game...

Weed Man: Anyway guys, let's go! Let's go!

Krilleth: What's down there?

It's too magnificent to explain! Trust me!

They land the ship on the planet and follow Weed Man to some place.

Benny: Where are we going? I'm TIRED!

Weed Man: We're here!

Everyone is disappointed and annoyed.

Weed Man happily runs and rolls around in a field filled with blue plants that look like marijuana plants.

Krilleth: Is this guy !@%@#^$ serious?

Weed Man: It's SPACE weed! YES!!!!

Weed Man continues to run around and play in the space weed like a little kid.

Steroids Man: Awww... that's my brother!

Krilleth: He wasted all of our times and woke us up!!

Steroids Man: Oh, let him play. It's probably for the best he keep a full supply of weed anyway.

Krilleth: Why's that?

Steroids Man: Because the last time he ran out he was more creepy and awful than Phil and the robot combined!

Phil: Oh come on ...

Info: That was not nice!

Steroids Man: Screw you guys, I'm going to bed!

Krilleth: Me too!

Everyone heads back to bed while Weed Man gathers his greatest collection of weed ever ... SPACE WEED!!

~~~

Our heroes' spaceship is now slowing down and approaching a large expanse in space. This is a large area that dwarfs the spaceship in size! It's like a large space cloud that's many colours.

Inside the ship, Phil, Super Bob and Info work the controls. Steroids Man, Krilleth and Benny are sitting on a couch in the control room area observing and eating snacks.

Phil: Guys .... it really feels wrong to have a couch on the command center of a ship!

Steroids Man: Did you want me to move it?

Phil: I think so.

Steroids Man: Ok, bend over.

Phil: ...

Weed Man enters the bridge and his eyes look crazy bloodshot.

Weed Man: Guys ... I did it.

Steroids Man: Oh crap, Dave! I never seen you look so stoned!

Weed Man: Yeah man ... that space weed is POTENT. I think it would kill a normal guy without super soldier powers. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Everyone looks on confused.

Weed Man: This weed inspired me guys. I invented the greatest thing ever! Check it out!

Weed Man holds up a knife and fork that's crudely taped together with duct tape. The fork prongs are on the bottom and the knife blade is at the top with the handles taped together.

Weed Man: I never could have come up with this on my own!

Steroids Man: ... it's a knife and fork taped together ...

Weed Man: Nah man, there's no knife or fork here. They have been combined and are now so much more together! Super Bob?

Super Bob: ... yeah?

Weed Man: You gotta start selling these in your furniture store! You'll make TRILLIONS! *smokes joint*

*awkward silence*

Info: That guy is high as shazam!!

Weed Man: No listen ... why do people own a collection of knives and forks when they can own this? It's both in ONE! Think about it - less dishes, less work. Instead of switching back and forth between a knife and a fork you can have both in ONE hand at all times!

Super Bob: I'm not selling that in my store.

Weed Man: But it's the future!

Phil: ENOUGH!!!!

Everyone looks at Phil in shock.

Phil: Sorry guys ... I just wanted to say something here. We have a problem!

Weed Man: Is this about my knife fork idea? Cause this is only a prototype.

Phil: NO! I'm taking about the pieces to the device we've been trying to gather! The first piece is in that glowing mutlicoloured nebula over there!

Everyone looks at the large nebula cloud area. Everyone is in awe at it's magnificent appearance.

Benny: It's beautiful!

Weed Man: I want to smoke it!

Phil: We can't get near it!

Krilleth: Why not?

Super Bob: Because after computer analysis we have determined that any material that enters the nebula will be crushed and destroyed instantly!

Steroids Man: That doesn't make sense, how is the piece surviving in there?

Phil: Because the pieces of the device are indestructible!

Info: If we can't get the piece, doesn't that mean the really bad guy you're after also can't get it?

Phil: The really bad guy we're after stole Satan's powers! It wouldn't be beyond his reach!

Weed Man: I know! Let's use the ship's giant magnet to suck it in!

Super Bob: Great plan! With only one problem ....

Weed Man: What's that?

Super Bob: We don't have a giant magnet, you pot head!

Weed Man: Harsh dude.

Steroids Man: So what do we do now? You screwed us again with another impossible quest!

Phil: Ok guys, calm down! We have overcome all our other obstacles so far and we can overcome this! Also we have the smartest human alive, right here!

Super Bob: Thank you and if I must use my superior intellect to deduce a way out of this well ... there isn't one. We're screwed. The end.

Phil: Info?

Info: I have run a series of algorithms and logical calculations in my CPU.

Phil: And?

Info: ... and I'm tired now.

!!*** POOF ***!!! / KABLAM!!!

A bright light explodes from the center of the control room to reveal a strange man with the letter Q on his shirt. Everyone is stunned by this random moment.

Phil: Who the heck are you now???

Guy: My name is Q from the Q consortium!

Q explodes and becomes a room full of eagles and then reforms back into himself.

Q: As you can see my powers are quite unlimited and impressive and completely shatter your little tiny minds and throw your world into a tizzy!

Weed Man: He he he he, this guy's cool.

Super Bob: ... what are you???

Q: I am one of the the highest forms of life which has been evolving since the beginning of time to achieve unlimited potential! I can do anything! Watch this!

Q snaps his fingers and everyone is shrunk down to the size of pennies.

Q: Ha ha ha ha ha! You're all tiny now! Want to see what kind of other balloon knot ways I can abuse my powers for self amusement?

Our heroes yell and yell but but all we hear is barely audible noise.

Q: Do you want to see an awesome pair of boots???

Q snaps his fingers and a bright light flashes over his feet to reveal new cowboy boots!

Q: I think it's time for a dance off! I hope I don't step on anybody!

Our tiny heroes look up from the floor while dodging giant foot steps!

Steroids Man: Great, Phil! All of our journey was in vein because now we're about to die in the stupidest way ever!

Our heroes look up as another flash of light happens and another towering man enters the room. This guy has blonde hair and a letter R on his shirt.

R: Q!!!!

Q: R!?!?

R: Yes, it's me, R, from the R Regime! Are you torturing more lower lifeforms?

Q: No! We were just playing right guys?

R claps his hands and everyone is transformed back to normal size.

Phil: Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on??!?

Suddenly another flash of light happens and a man with long white hair and the letter S on his shirt appears.

S: What up my jabberwocky?!?

Benny: Who are you people?!?!

R: Excuse my friends. We're just a bunch of overpowered space people who like to screw around. Q takes it too far sometimes.

Phil: How powerful are you?

S: More powerful than you can comprehend. Nothing is beyond us!

Phil: Really? I bet you can't even retrieve a piece of a device that's in that highly destructive nebula!

S: Piece of cake!

S disappears and then reappears with the piece of the device and hands it to Phil!

S: IN YOUR FACE!!!

Super Bob: Wow... ummm ... these guys could help us a lot on our mission!

Steroids Man: Yeah, but they're so annoying!

Q: What mission?

Phil: We're trying to take down the unknown being who stole Satan's powers!

Q,R and S gasp in shock and take a few steps back and get closer together!

R: Are you nuts!?

Phil: .... what?

R: What kind of suicide mission are you on?

Krilleth: What are you talking about? You have all these powers, what you afraid of?

R: Getting our asses kicked which is what will happen to anyone who goes after that Ultimate Evil!

S: We may have boasted our powers but we are no match for that guy!

Q: I almost stepped on you guys like ants. Well guess what? We're ants compared to that guy! I don't even know what that makes YOU!

R: A bunch of the dumbest creatures we've ever encountered, that's what!

S: Have fun dying guys, we're out!

Q, R and S disappear into a flash of light and leave our heroes alone.

Steroids Man: ... well that was motivating.

Phil: Ok guys, don't lose hope! We have one of the pieces now!

Steroids Man: Good, maybe we can take turns shoving it up our asses. May be less painful than what we're about to go through.

Weed Man: Come on guys, cheer up. We got this. We're gunna do it! We're gunna win!

Krilleth: How are you still optimistic about this after what just happened? Beings that are way more powerful than we could ever dream of becoming just ran away after hearing what we were planning to do!

Weed Man rolls a joint tight with space weed and hands it to Krilleth.

Weed Man: I think we all need to unwind a little and take the edge off. Pass this shazam! around!

~~~~

The control room is now filled with 3 couches and all of our heroes are now sitting on them and stoned as hell and eating snacks. The robot is also stoned and has the munchies. Everyone is laughing while watching Bugs Bunny cartoons.

Steroids Man: Oh Phil, this is the greatest time I've ever had in my life!

Phil: Mine too!

Steroids Man: You're great man, you really are. I think we should be best friends forever!

Phil: I agree!

~~~ later ~~~

Everyone is tired and messed up while the space THC is leaving their system and they are coming down from an alien high.

Steroids Man barges into Phil's room.

Steroids Man: Phil?

Phil: Yeah?

Steroids Man: I just want to be clear that all that stuff I said while high didn't count. That weed was so strong that it completely distorted my perception of reality and made me say things that aren't even remotely true. Also, you suck.

Steroids Man slams the door and Phil drops his head sadly.

~~~

Our heroes' spaceship now approaches a large floating skull of some kind that's just floating in space.

Our heroes observe on the view screen as they get closer. This space skull is ENORMOUS! The spaceship could easily fit in the eye socket with plenty of room to spare.

Benny (nervous): Ummm... we're not going into that creepy space skull are we?

Phil reads information on the tracking device left behind from when they fought the Anti-Christ.

Phil: We have to! According to this there are two more pieces of the device in there!

Krilleth whips out his knife.

Krilleth: Let's do this. Maybe we'll see some action!

They enter the large skull to find all sorts of other spaceships and cities and and many aliens all over! It's like a space shanty town or flea market or something. It's never ending!

Phil: We're going to have to find a place to park and do this one on foot.

They park their LARGE spaceship in a field of other spaceships and walk to the exit of the ship. While in the hallway leading to the exit they smell something most foul.

Steroids Man: Why does it STINK in here?!?!

Phil: It smells like we're on a garbage barge!

Benny: Guys I'm going to be sick! What's happening!?

Weed Man: I need to light another joint to try and drown out the smell!

Super Bob: I think it's coming from the floors!

Krilleth: Is there something under the floors stinking up the place?!?

Info: Yes.

Everyone: ....

Phil: What?

Info: Pardon?

Phil: What is under the metal floor boards!?

Info: Oh, that. That's the Reptilians we killed last week.

Phil: WHAT?!?! WHY?!?!

Info: I had to do something with the bodies. So I buried them. I like burying dead people.

Super Bob: To bury something is to put it under ground not under spaceship floors!!

Steroids Man: Can we just get the hell out of here now!!!?!!

They all exit the ship and cough and gag while Info looks on.

Info: Sorry guys, my smell unit must have malfunctioned. I smelled nothing.

Phil: We can't even leave the door open to air it out because we got to lock up ... it's awful! Why didn't you put them somewhere else if you wanted to do that?

Super Bob: You could have blown them out to space!

Info: Guys, you're making me feel bad ... and when I feel bad I get murderous.

Steroids Man: Can we just move this along, PLEASE?!

Phil: Yes, let's find those parts already.

Phil uses the tracking machine to locate the parts.

Phil: This way!

Our heroes walk past many merchants trying to sell all sorts of alien crap to them until they find themselves in a large private area that is massive in size and filled with items.

Weed Man: Whoa....

They see mysterious items and random aliens in glass cubes all over.

Info: I am very interested in all these things.

Phil (with tracking machine): Hmmmm... the pieces appear to be together on that top shelf. Just trying to be sure.

They look up to see a shelf crazy high up in the air floating on it's own.

Info: Let me check.

Info rips his head off and tosses it high up in the air ... while his head is high up he looks around the shelf and then the head falls back down and Info catches it and puts it back on.

Info: Yep, it's up there.

Phil: ... you know I could have just flown up there and checked myself. I still have to fly up there to get them.

Info: I can get them too!

Info takes his arm off and throws it up high in the air and it grabs one piece and falls down for Info to catch it. Info repeats this with the second piece and puts his arm back on.

Weed Man: That was pretty cool!

Suddenly a heavy metal sphere the size of a beach ball falls from the shelf and is about to land on our heroes!

Info: Look out!

Info jumps up and rocket fire shoots out from the heels of his feet and he flies to the heavy falling sphere, catches it and puts it down gently next to our heroes.

Steroids Man: You can fly?!?!

Info: Of course.

Steroids Man: Then why are you throwing your body parts all over the place for no reason?!?!

Info: Cause I'm cool like that.

Suddenly in the distance we hear clapping.

Voice: Bravo! Bravo! Spectacular!

The man clapping is revealed to be a strange older man wearing an exotic fur coat and crazy wavy white hair.

Man: Your robot is simply splendid!

Benny: Who are you?

The man bows to the heroes in a crazy fashion and jumps up and does a twirl.

Man: I am ... The Hoarder!

Steroids Man: The Hoarder?

The Hoarder: Yes, I have hoarded great things from all over the universe! And you are observing my amazing stockpile of the greatest items of all time!

Phil: Do you validate parking?

The Hoarder: Yes.

The Hoarder stamps a thing for Phil and gives it to him.

The Hoarder goes over to the robot and looks him over and feels and bends him around all over.

The Hoarder: I am very interested in you!

Info looks over The Hoarder and picks him up and feels him up too.

Info: I am very interested in you as well.

Phil: We are very interested in these two device parts right here.

The Hoarder: You can have them.

Phil: Oh, wow! Thank you!

The Hoarder: But leave the robot.

Steroids Man: Done, let's go!

Steroids Man grabs the pieces and pushes everyone out the door and they run back to the spaceship and leave.

Steroids Man, Weed Man, Phil, Super Bob, Krilleth and Benny are on the zooming spaceship bridge.

Steroids Man: Thank goodness we got rid of that robot! Things may be looking up finally!

Phil: And we got 3 pieces of the device now!

Super Bob: I feel bad for just leaving Info behind though.

Steroids Man: Why?! That robot was annoying as hell! And I've already dealt with an annoying robot in my life so I'm glad to be rid of him!

Weed Man: Awwww....

Steroids Man: Don't tell me you miss him? He was a creepy murderer.

Weed Man: No not that ... I just realized that I should have shown that hoarder dude my knife/fork all in one utensil.

Steroids Man: ....

Weed Man pulls out his knife/fork which is now welder together. The top is a fork and the bottom is a knife.

Weed Man: This is the Mark 2 version.

Steroids Man: I think you should switch back to Earth weed buddy...

Super Bob (at controls): Hey guys ... something is coming at us and coming at us fast.

Krilleth: What is it?

Super Bob: It's a small space ship ... like the size of a bus.

Phil: Well that's no threat.

Weed Man: Ummm.... we took over this ship using a hot air balloon ... a bus is more threatening than that.

Steroids Man: Oh crap he's right! We may be in trouble!

Phil: Maybe we better raise the shields.

Super Bob: We don't have any shields.

Phil: Oh....

Weed Man: Use the giant magnet!

Super Bob: I'm sure they're not a threat .... wait.....

Super Bob frantically presses buttons at the controls.

Super Bob: Our docking bay doors are opening! They're somehow overriding our system and I can't stop it!

Phil: How is that possible!?

Super Bob: They just landed inside our ship.

Krilleth whips out his knife.

Krilleth: Let's do this!

Our heroes rush to confront the bus shaped ship. The door to the small ship opens and smoke flows out of the opening as a shadowy figure exits. Our heroes stand poised and battle ready!

Info appears and is covered in blood.

Info: Hello friends.

Everyone just stares awkwardly.

Info: You guys left me behind so I had to violently kill the hoarder and steal one of his spaceships. I need soap and new clothes.

Steroids Man: I need to kill myself so that I die even more.

~~~

Cut to the dark planet at the end of the universe with spooky red lights lighting up the surface.

Inside an evil palace is the one whole stole Satan's powers ... the Ultimate Evil!

The Ultimate Evil sits on his floating chair with his back always away from his audience. Only visible is his menacing red arms and metal gauntlets which are covered in sharp spikes.

Ultimate Evil begins to speak in the most evil voice you can imagine!

Ultimate Evil: Gladys, I summon you!

Gladys enters the room. A beautiful pink demon with tiny dark pink feminine horns. She boasts a creepy big smile and old looking horror movie type dress. Long white hair.

Ultimate Evil: My daughter, I have been observing an annoying group of men lead by an angel who thinks they are a threat to us.

Gladys smiles and plays with her hair.

Ultimate Evil: They are gathering the pieces of the device. They think they can keep it from us .... they are fools. They are just doing our work for us by gathering them together! When they collect all the pieces ... you will go and take them and bring them to me!

Gladys continues to smile and her eyes glow red.

~~~

Our heroes' ship is orbiting a strange planet while Info's new bus sized space ship lands on the surface and our heroes get out.

Weed Man: Whoa ... this is weird.

Our heroes look around but only see little boxes all over the place.

Krilleth: What is this?

Weed Man: Maybe they're gifts for everybody!

Steroids Man: Maybe you're too high to even function anymore.

Phil (using tracking machine): The piece is around here somewhere ... and it's tiny.

Steroids Man suddenly trips on a box and stumbles around.

Steroids Man: The boxes are attacking us!

Steroids Man goes crazy and kicks a bunch of boxes around.

Super Bob: Nothing is attacking us! You're just clumsy!

Phil bends down to a box to see a gold thing shining on the top of it.

Phil: Found it!

Steroids Man: Good! Now let's get out of this strange box factory!

Benny: Why ARE there boxes everywhere?

Info: They are not boxes. They are buildings.

Benny: What....

Info: The population of this planet is microscopic. You all just killed tens of thousands of tiny aliens. I can hear them screaming with my high powered robot ears!

Phil: What?!?! Why didn't you say something???

Info: None of you asked me about it.

Suddenly our heroes see a flashing light on one of the boxes and approach it while stepping on hundreds of more microscopic aliens.

Voice: Can you please stop destroying our buildings and killing our people?!?!?

Our heroes all crouch down and look at the top of one of the tiny buildings to see a microscopic person using some kind of super amplifying megaphone.

Tiny Alien: Why are you doing this to us???

Phil: We're so sorry! We just came for a very important item! We had no idea there was tiny life here.

Tiny Alien: You giant balloon knot ... *cries* ... you killed so many of us right now!

Weed Man: We're sorry little dude. I know what will make you feel better! Have one of my knife/fork 2 in 1 utensils!

Weed Man balances his knife/fork on the tiny building next to the tiny alien.

Tiny Alien: What the ^%&%$ are we suppose to do with this?!?!

Steroids Man: Can we go now?

Krilleth: Yeah, lets.

The tiny alien watches on from the roof top of his tiny building as from his perspective giant mean walk away to their spaceship while trampling more buildings and people. He listens to the sounds of people screaming and alarms going off and sees fire and devastation all over. Our heroes are not capable of hearing or seeing any of this.

The tiny alien collapses to his knees and cries.

Tiny Alien: WHY!?!?!!?!?!

---

Our heroes' spaceship is now zooming away from the tiny alien planet at high speeds.

Phil: Well we did it! We got the fourth piece of the device!

Phil holds up a golden key shaped item that looks very much like a house key or standard key.

Steroids Man: Cool! What is it?

*awkward silence*

Phil: ... are you serious?

Steroids Man: Yeah, what does it do?

Phil looks like he's trying to restrain himself.

Phil: It's a fu.... it's a key!!! Come on!!!

Steroids Man: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Phil: Yeah...

Steroids Man: What does it open?

Phil: It turns on the device once it's put together!!!!

Krilleth: How many pieces are left?

Phil: Only 1 and then we've got all the parts.

Benny: Only 5 pieces? That's not so bad.

Phil: Yup, this could give us the edge we need to defeat the Ultimate Evil and save Heaven and the universe!

~~~

Our heroes are now racing towards what appears to be a very advanced alien world with way too many spaceships around it. All the spaceships look like they're of the same design.

In the bridge, Phil and Super Bob look at computer screens and work with the tracking machine.

Phil: It's on that planet alright.

Steroids Man (on couch): With all those ships?

Benny: This looks like a seriously well guarded planet...

Super Bob: The long range radar shows the piece is on the planet's surface ... in a highly secure and guarded complex....

Steroids Man: Oh good, another problem. I can already feel the pain in my bottom!

As they get really close to the planet a blockade of defending ships form to stop our heroes' ship from getting any closer.

Suddenly the view screen activates and a strange alien appears wearing a fancy uniform with other aliens behind him in similar military like uniform. The aliens look human except with two pairs of eyebrows instead of one. Looks like equal signs over their eyes.

Alien Commander: This is Gorak, supreme elite commander of the Tresik Prime defending fleet. State your business.

Phil: Oh ... hi there. I'm Phil.

Alien Commander: What do you want ... Phil?

Phil: Well ... ummmm .... there's a piece of a thing that we're building on your planet ... and wondering if we could sort of ... have it.

There's a very awkward silence all around.

Alien Commander: No.

Phil: It's really important that we have this! We can talk about trading for it!

Weed Man: I have this knife/fork creation here you may like and...

Steroids Man: Oh shut up already about that!!

Alien Commander: Ok, what ever prank this is - we don't have time for it! We have a serious crisis on our hands and....

Suddenly the view screen divides in half like a split screen with some fat alien sitting on an office chair drinking from a bottle.

Fat Alien: Well what's going in here? *glug* *glug* *gulg*

The Alien Commander hangs his head in shame and embarrassment.

Phil: Who's that?

Alien Commander: That ... is our leader. Grand Mega Controller Blarg the 14th....

Krilleth: THAT guy is your leader???

Alien Commander: Unfortunately ... he's been more out of sorts than anyone about our impending doom.

Benny: I don't like the sounds of that....

Blarg: Send em all down here and we'll have a drink!

Alien Commander: But, Grand Mega Controller ...

Blarg: DO IT!!!!! I am the LEADER!!! *drinks more*

Alien Commander: *sigh* ... I'll show you guys where to park.

Our heroes park the enormous spaceship next to this overly elaborate grand castle and approach the leader, Blarg, in all his drunken glory! They are all in a spectacular large open room.

Steroids Man: Can someone tell me what's going on now???

Blarg looks out the window and up at the sky and cries into his drink and then drinks his tears along with the alcohol.

Blarg: Oh the sorrow.... let me tell you the lengthy story that has transpired over the centuries leading to this grim moment...

Steroids Man: Oh hell no! Say it in one sentence man! I've been on a long and tedious enough journey already!

Blarg: An evil alien is coming to eat this planet and we'll all die and lose everything. Happy?

Super Bob: What...

Blarg: His name is Galaxy Man ... eater if planets. He literally eats planets and is coming here to eat ours .... he's unstoppable!

Steroids Man: Well that sure sucks ... but can we have that thing Phil wants now?

Blarg: ... huh?

Phil: There is a piece to a device we need in one of your guarded facilities.

Blarg: You mean our treasures????

Phil: Just one specific, small item.

Blarg: My people of Tresik Prime are a very proud people who never give up our treasures for anyone!

Steroids Man is growing impatient and red in the face with anger.

Steroids Man: You're all going to die anyway so who cares?!!??? What the hell is wrong with you?!?!

Weed Man: You need to calm down man.

Blarg looks pissed.

Blarg: We would rather die with our hard earned treasures! Our people have been collecting these things for centuries and would never part with them even in death!!

Phil: What if we defeated this Galaxy Man of yours?

Benny: Are you nuts!?

Phil: We need that piece and besides, Galaxy Man sounds like a good warm up to the even greater threat we're facing!

Info: I will kill this Galaxy Man and bury him deep.

Blarg: You people must be drunker than I am if you think you can defeat Galaxy Man! He's been eating planets since the beginning of time and ....

** KABOOM *** * BLAM *** EXPLOSIONS!!! and MORE EXPLOSIONS!!!

The planet shakes and everyone stumbles around as more loud explosions are heard from above.

Blarg: OH NO!!! HE'S HERE!!!!!

Everyone runs outside and looks up at the red, fiery sky as all the defending spaceships are being destroyed!! Good thing our heroes parked on the surface!

Blarg: No .... *cry* .... it's too soon! This is not the time he gave us last month.

Super Bob: You mean you guys had a MONTH notice to get off this planet????

Blarg: Yeah, but we like it too much! It has one of the best views of the universe and the rent is so cheap!

Super Bob: What ... you don't even own your own planet?

Benny: It's a common thing out in space. My people don't own our planet.

Krilleth: Pathetic.

Steroids Man throws punches at the fiery sky and looks excited.

Steroids Man: Bring it on! Let's go!

Benny: You're excited for this???

Steroids Man: Yeah, a good battle is sure more fun than half the other boring shazam! we've been doing!

Info: I am most interested in this as well.

Suddenly a man comes down from the sky where all the ships are being destroyed. He's wearing silver clothes and surfing through the air somehow in a silver surfboard.

Man on Surfboard: S'up?

Weed Man: Hahahahahaaha! That's awesome!

Steroids Man: This is annoying as hell ... this entire adventure....

Weed Man: Bro, I'm having a blast! You would enjoy this so much more if you smoked up!

Phil: ... are you Galaxy Man?

Man on Surfboard: Nah, I'm Silver Surfing Man. Check out my sweet board!

Everyone: ....

Blarg: Yes ... that's Galaxy Man's business partner who helps him find planets to eat!

Silver Surfing Man: So why u dudes still chillin on this planet? We totally told ya Galaxy Man was coming here for lunch today.

Phil: Why did you pick this planet? Couldn't you pick a planet with no people on it???

Silver Surfing Man: I hear ya pal, but my boss got his tastes. I spose planets taste better with peeps in em.

Everyone looks up as the sky grows darker and it looks like a storm bigger than the planet itself is about to touch down. Thunder and scariness and all sorts of bad things.

Benny: Can you stop this?

Silver Surfing Man: Me?

Benny: Yes! Can you convince him not to eat this planet??? There's innocent people here who don't deserve to die!

Silver Surfing Man: Listen buddy, I flunked out of space high school, ok? I kinda need this income. He's gonna pay me some big bucks for this job, yo.

Show a mother alien with two younglings.

Kid #1: Mommy! *cries* I'm scared!

Kid #2: I don't want to die, mommy, I don't want to die!!!

Mommy: It's ok kids ... *sobs* ... I love you both so much ....

Kid #1: Make it stop, Mommy! Make it STOP!!!!

Mommy: Shhhh don't worry ... we'll be reunited with Daddy soon.

Silver Surfing Man: Oh WOW! That sucks WAYYY hard. Totally tugs on my heart strings like for REALS. Is this what I've been doing to people??? Whoa ... I'm hella lame!

Benny: If you can stop this you have to stop this!!!

Silver Surfing Man sheds a single tear.

Silver Surfing Man: Whoaaaaaaaaa there! What's this water coming out of my FACE?

Steroids Man: You probably feel bad for being such a piece of shazam!.

Benny: It's not too late to change.

Silver Surfing Man looks up at the growing storm that approaches and has a new sense of determination on his face.

Silver Surfing Man: I'm going to do the right thing. I'm putting an end to this!

Silver Surfing Man starts to leaves but returns and speaks to Blarg.

Silver Surfing Man: Will you pay me for this cause I really needs some money right now. You see I have 3 cats to feed and ...

Benny: JUST GO ALREADY!!!

Silver Surfing Man: ALRIGHT!!!

Silver Surfing Man speeds into the sky on his surfboard and right into the heart of the storm!

Silver Surfing Man: Hey listen, can you not eat that planet?

Suddenly we hear the voice of Galaxy Man but can't see him as his voice travels all around the storm clouds.

Galaxy Man: Sorry .... I really want to eat that planet! I got my bib and everything!

Silver Surfing Man: K, but I kinda promised them that you wouldn't.

Galaxy Man: Yeah but ... I promised my gut that I would!

Silver Surfing Man: Come on man. I'll find you another planet to eat!

Galaxy Man: Yeah but ... I got a fever ... and the only solution is more eating that planet right there.

Silver Surfing Man: Don't make me beg, man.

Galaxy Man: I'll kill you.

Silver Surfing Man: Ok, @#^@#% it! I'm out!

Silver Surfing Man surfs into space and leaves this entire scene behind.

Our heroes and Blarg and the other people of Tresik Prime look up as the storm is about to touch down!

The high winds cause Weed Man's joint to fly out of his mouth!

Weed Man: Boo.

KABOOM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Storm touches down right in front of our heroes and there's an explosion!!! Our heroes and everyone else cough and cough as the dust and smoke clears....

Super Bob: WHAT'S GOING ON!?!?

We now reveal a very weird and odd shaped alien. He's short, about 5 feet tall and chubby. This blue alien has weak looking skinny arms and legs and a BIG head that's bigger than his torso. He looks completely not threatening at all and dumb in appearance. Also wearing a bib.

Galaxy Man: It's time for .... THE FEAST!

Galaxy Man grabs a large spoon off his belt and bends down and scoops up some dirt and chomps away.

Everyone looks on in total disbelief at the completely ridiculous scene of watching this peculiar looking alien eating spoonfuls of dirt off the ground.

Tresik Prime Alien #1: It's horrible!!!

Tresik Prime Alien #2: I can't believe this is happening!

Tresik Prime Alien #3: WILL NOTHING SATISFY HIS APPETITE!?!?!

Galaxy Man continues to eat with the spoon and now the spot he's been digging from is slightly noticeable.

Steroids Man: ... how long is this going to take?

Tresik Prime Alien #4: In 3.47 Quadrillion years there will be NOTHING left!!!

Info: Those calculations seem accurate.

Phil: What in the literal @#%@% ....

Galaxy Man takes another spoonful of dirt and sprinkles some salt on it.

Galaxy Man: This is good. Yum! Yum!

Phil (to Blarg): So ... we can have that piece if you beat this guy?

Blarg: Yes but ... it's way too late to stop him!

Weed Man: I think we have plenty of time.

Steroids Man: Screw this, I'll get him myself!

Steroids Man goes over to Galaxy Man and punches him in his big head!

Steroids Man: Ouch!!!! My hand!!! What the ...

Galaxy Man is still eating away without skipping a beat.

Krilleth runs over and hits Galaxy Man HARD with his large blade but has no effect.

Krilleth: Yeah right!

Krilleth continues to frantically swing his blade over and over and make contact with Galaxy Man but Galaxy Man keeps eating and receives not a speck of damage.

Info and Weed Man and Phil join in and with Krilleth and Steroids Man they all rain down punches on Galaxy Man. Galaxy Man is not even remotely effected by this and continues eating away!

Galaxy Man: Guys, this is annoying.

Galaxy Man quickly lifts his arms up and a great wind knocks all our heroes on their asses!

Blarg: I knew he couldn't be stopped!

Our heroes sit up and look on in disbelief.

Galaxy Man tries to pick up a baseball sized rock with the spoon but it's too big.

Galaxy Man: I'm going to need a knife and fork for this piece.

Galaxy Man busts out a knife and fork and uses his left hand to place the fork in the rock with some kind of super strength and cut the rock with the knife in his right hand. He then switches the fork to his right hand as he's right handed and likes to eat and cut things using the right hand.

Galaxy Man: This is good eatin!

Weed Man: Can I get your opinion on something?

Galaxy Man: What?

Weed Man: This!

Weed Man hands Galaxy Man his knife/fork creation.

Steroids Man: You have got to be shitting me....

Galaxy Man: What's this?

Weed Man: It's a knife AND fork in one unit. I came up with this while doing space weed.

Galaxy Man looks it over.

Galaxy Man: Hmmm... A fork on the top and a knife on the bottom with a handle in the middle ... interesting.

Weed Man: Yeah man, now you can hold both things in one hand and your other hand will be free to do more things without switching utensils all the time.

Galaxy Man: Let me try this.

Galaxy Man starts cutting at the rock with the knife part using his super strength and completes the cut.

Weed Man: Now flip it over.

Galaxy Man flips the knife around in his hand to get the fork part to face up.

Galaxy Man: OH!!! Now I don't have to switch hands all the time because I like to cut food and pick up the food using my right hand only! I'm very right handed!

Galaxy Man puts the fork in the rock and accidentally cuts his weak wrist veins with the pointy knife blade at the bottom of the handle.

Galaxy Man: OH #%$^#$!!!! I CUT MY WRIST AND I'M A HEMOPHILIAC!!!

Blood gushes out of Galaxy Man's slit wrist like a fire hose and he dies IMMEDIATELY.

Weed Man looks down at Galaxy Man's dead and bloody body.

Weed Man: Oh damn, I never thought about that problem .... I better stop making those.

All the aliens cheer as Galaxy Man is dead!

Blarg: You're a hero!

They all lift Weed Man in the air and cheer loudly.

Steroids Man: ... what just happened?

Out heroes zoom through space in the spaceship. Inside the bridge everyone is happy and celebrating and all the pieces of the device are on a table.

Phil: We did it! We got all the pieces! It won't be long now before we reach the Ultimate Evil's location and can use this device against him!

Steroids Man: I think this calls for a party!

Benny: YES!!!

Weed Man: Let's smoke some space weed!

Steroids Man: I need to find a way to get drunk in this dead body of mine!

Super Bob: I think I might indulge in some Chardonnay!

Info: Let's all do heroin right now!

Everyone is shocked and scared while looking at Info who's holding a bunch of heroin needles.

Steroids Man: You know what ... let's just skip the party and get this whole damn thing over with.