Chapter 105 --> A Cybernetic Evil

[Clarence]

The robot is sitting on a chair with his head plate removed and Phil doing robo-surgery on him. After working with some wires and stuff he is ready.

Phil: Good news everyone!

Steroids Man, Amanda, Dougette and DeShaun are also here.

Phil: I finally figured out how to make the robot not sound so loud! Go ahead, say something.

Robot: HELLO EVERYONE!!! HOW ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?

Steroids Man: HOLY CRAP!!

Amanda: He's louder than ever!!!

Robot: DID IT WORK!?!?!? AM I QUIETER NOW!??!? DOES THIS MEAN PEOPLE WILL NOW SPEND TIME WITH ME AND BE MY FRIEND!!!

Dougette vomits all over the place and falls down.

DeShaun: Kill that smurf robot!!!

Robot: OHHH... I DON'T THINK IT WORKED PHIL!!!!

Phil smashes the robot with a steel baseball bat and knocks it off the chair, deactivating it.

~~~~~~~~~~

Revenge is returning to his secret lab and working with Dr. Bad. He is trying to learn more about Dr. Bad's perfect DNA in an attempt to cure himself. To find out more information he has been stimulating Dr. Bad's elderly braincells with advanced technology, hoping he'll be able to remember the terms of how he aquired this perfect DNA.

Revenge: Soon, with your help, I will be better and then I can kill that Steroids Man!

Suddenly Revenge holds his stomach and screams as his mutation is starting to cause him problems again. Dr. Bad is in bed.

Dr. Bad: Santa?

Revenge takes a syringe and injects himself to slow the mutation... but then.

Revenge: AHHHHHH!!!!!

Revenge screams and falls to his knees and pukes green liquid.

Revenge: What's happening to me?

Dr. Bad gets out of bed and removes his covers to reveal that he has a metal apparatus over his arm with technology and glowing lights on it.

Revenge: What's going on?

Dr. Bad: I sabotaged your syringes and now I'm going to kill you.

Revenge: What?

Dr. Bad: You fool, you have become so obsessed with killing Steroids Man that you destroyed yourself. I'm going to kill you now and take your technology.

Revenge: This is impossible! *cough*

Dr. Bad: Goodbye.

Dr. Bad takes uses the technology on his arm to shoot a high power laser at Revenge's neck and he gets decapitated.

Revenge (formerly Wheels) is now dead. Literally and forever

Thanks to Revenge's work, Dr. Bad has become super intelligent and his memories awoken. Dr. Bad's perfect DNA (from a stolen government serum in 1915) provided longevity and super strength (as a youth), but did not work for his brain... until now and with Revenge's stimulation techniques.

Dr. Bad was playing dumb and learning Revenge's technology while Revenge kept making him smarter.

Dr. Bad: I'm back! Smarter than ever and with a room full of technology! The world will be mine!

Dr. Bad begins to play with Revenge's lab and some already nearly complete inventions including a time machine and full body armored mechanical suit of some kind.

(Revenge was hoping to be cured with Dr. Bad's help and thought he may become a human and lose the use of his legs again, hence the mechanical suit weapon to use which is designed to combat Steroids Man)

The 137 year old Dr. Bad goes up to the mostly complete and menacing looking metal suit and smiles an evil smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Steroids Man gets up at like 4 am to take a pee and hears the TV on, he goes into the living-room to see Phil sitting down in the dark and looking very sad.

Steroids Man: Why are you still up? It's soooo late... or early.... nobody should be up right now.

Phil: *sigh* I don't know... I'm not doing well.

Steroids Man feels bad for Phil and does something he will really regret.

Steroids Man: What's wrong?

Phil: Come here.

Steroids Man regrettably sits down next to Phil.

Phil: Can I tell you a secret Steroids Man?

Steroids Man: *sigh* I suppose so...

Phil: I have never had tickle fight. I am a virgin.

Steroids Man: That sucks man, maybe some day you will find someone to nail. Doug's a woman now.

Phil: It gets worse though, I've never had an orgasm.

Steroids Man: That's just...

Phil: I don't think I have anything physically wrong with me, but for some reason I have never got so much as an erection.... in my whole life. One time I almost got half of an erection...

Steroids Man has already left the room.

Phil: Oh....

~~~~next morning

Dougette is on the couch with a mysterious muppet in one of her arms that covers up to her elbow and watching TV. The muppet looks creepy and has tiny knives on it's hands.

Steroids Man enters the living room after Amanda left for work and sits next to Dougette with a bowl of sugar and 3 fruit loops in it.

Steroids Man: My teeth hurt so bad...

Dougette begins to put on a very bad ventriloquist act and makes the muppet speak.

Muppet: Hello there chap, stab of the morning to you!

Steroids Man spits out a spoonful of sugar and blood in shock.

Steroids Man: What the hell is that?

Dougette: That's my new muppet, Mr. Stabby.

Steroids Man: ... why?

Dougette: An epiphany made me do it...

DeShaun enters the room and goes up to Steroids Man while Phil stays back and watches.

DeShaun: Steroids Man....

Steroids Man: Yes Derek?

DeShaun: *sigh* ... Steroids Man ... I forgive you.

We see Phil smile.

(Phil found out about DeShaun's evil deeds at the mall and gave him a choice. Go to jail or forgive Steroids Man. Not sure which one the former Metal Face hated more.)

Steroids Man: Forgive me for what?

DeShaun: For ruining my life! I hate you, remember?

Steroids Man: No. But hey, look at my new watch!

Steroids Man shows off his fancy new watch to everyone.

Mr. Stabby (voiced by Dougette always): That's a sexy watch!

DeShaun: You're the worst!

Phil: Steroids Man?

Steroids Man: What?

Phil: You haven't patrolled the streets in a while and looked for crime. I think it would be splendid if you and DeShaun did this together. It'll get you off your bottom and also help you guys build a relationship and furthermore give DeShaun some super hero experience.

Steroids Man: Who the smurf are you to tell me what to do boner-less?

Phil looks extremely sad.

Phil: I'm ... your manager...

Steroids Man: Fine, let's go beat up some random criminals, let's go Rupert.

DeShaun: Who the smurf is Rupert??

Steroids Man: Well what-ever you call yourself, just come with me!

The robot enters the room: CAN I COME TOO?

Steroids Man: Sure, what the hell ever. (drinking beer)

Dougette: I want to come!

(Dougette recently discovered she is in love with the robot)

Mr. Stabby: Yes sir, count me in too! I'll stab crime in the face!

Steroids Man: Fine, all you weirdos can come!

Phil: Great, you have a whole team to come with you and make the streets a safer place!

Steroids Man: I suppose you want to come too?

Phil: No, I got to go to the pharmacy. (to get Viagra)

Steroids Man: Fine, whatever.

~~~~~~

Steroids Man patrols the streets with DeShaun, the robot and Dougette and her muppet Mr. Stabby. little to no crime to be found.

Steroids Man: There's no crime going at all, and we're at a pretty bad part of the city.

DeShaun: Yeah, I heard on TV that someone actually got into a sword fight over here last weekend.

Steroids Man (to random guy): Hey you.

Random Guy: Yes?

Steroids Man: Are you a criminal?

Random Guy: Oh my goodness no, I'm a very law biding citizen.

Steroids Man: If I give you like a hundred bucks will you do some crime and then we will stop you?

Random Guy: Ummmm....

Suddenly Amanda comes from around the corner in her police uniform and is moving very fast and frantically.

Steroids Man: Amanda?

Amanda stops and screams.

Amanda (very fast talking): Oh my goodness you scared me!

Steroids Man: How did I scare you.... you're a police chief... shouldn't you be ready for the unexpected or....

Amanda (abruptly): yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. ANYWAY - what are all you guys doing?

Steroids Man: We're looking for crime and....

Amanda: Did you find any cocaine dealers or movers or pushers or anyone with cocaine on them at all?

Steroids Man: No....

Amanda: Ok, well there's a shortage of cocaine related criminals being arrested so if you find one call me up right away and I'll come get them, ok? Alright. good. good. We have a lot of people living with us we need to talk about that, you know?

There's an awkward silence as Steroids Man and others are confused.

And another lengthy pause and Amanda is looking at Dougette.

Amanda: SHUT THE smurf UP DOUGETTE, SHUT YOUR smurf Shay MOUTH ALREADY!!!!!

Dougette: Wha...

Amanda: Gotta go, late for work, love you baby.

Amanda takes Steroids Man and kisses him extremely passionately and bends him over backwards and then runs like hell.

Steroids Man: That was ... odd...

Suddenly Dougette begins flailing his muppet hand and coming close to hitting people seeming like she's out of control.

DeShaun: What the hell is going on!?

Dougette holds her own arm and gets control of her movements and settles the muppet down.

Robot: WHAT HAPPENED?

Dougette: Sorry ... my muppet had an epiphany...

Steroids Man sighs and takes a swig of Whiskey.

Steroids Man: My life.... what has happened to my life?

~~~~~~~~

Dr. Bad, using his new found intelligence and Revenge's lab and equipment, has finished work on Revenge's mechanical suit. We see a large metal figure with futuristic glowing lights and looking indestructible and covered in weapons. Dr. Bad is inside this metal suit thing and only his head is visible, but behind indestructible glass. In his arm is a built in time machine device that he can use to activate portals.

Dr. Bad: Yes, time to test this weapon and then use my enhanced brain and machinery to take over different timelines! Nothing will be able to stop me!

Suddenly flames shoot out from Dr. Bad's robotic boots and he flies through the ceiling and heads toward the town to make sure this weapon works. He's now indestructible on the outside but on the inside of the machine is still a frail old man with super intelligence.

~~~~~~~~~~

Steroids Man and friends are at an outside restaurant area eating.

Steroids Man: I can't believe there's no crime around at all. This is so peaceful.

Dougette: Maybe we should drive to a move violent city.

DeShaun: Marzipan City is like the most violent and dangerous city in this continent. We would have to travel overseas to find a place with more criminal activity.

Suddenly in the distance there's an explosion and everyone looks over to see a building collapse and a dust cloud rise.

DeShaun: See?

Mr. Stabby: Holy crap, that building just exploded!

Robot: CRIME?

Steroids Man: Well, let's go check it out.

Suddenly in the distance another large building explodes and a few more fall over.

DeShaun: Umm... this looks pretty heavy... can't we just start with purse snatchers and work up to whatever is causing buildings to explode?

Steroids Man: No, let's do this.

Steroids Man puts his hand on DeShaun's shoulder and prepares a confidence speech.

Steroids Man: This is what you need, a huge challenge. You are the underdog and in a lot of movies I've seen the underdog always rises to the occasion and saves the day. You're going to be the miracle we need over there.

DeShaun: What the smurf are you talking about?

Steroids Man: You're doing it!

Steroids Man grabs DeShaun and carries him while running toward the scene accompanied with Dougette and her muppet and The Robot.

~~~~

At the warzone, Dr. Bad is in his metal suit with only his head visible behind an indestructible glass dome. In fact the whole suit looks indestructible.

Dr. Bad is using a flame thrower type weapon and using it chase people away as they run and are on fire.

Steroids Man and team are getting closer.

Dougette: There's a lot of running guys on fire!

Suddenly an explosion and many screams as another building collapses.

They arrive at the scene to see Dr. Bad shoot rockets at another building.

Steroids Man: Stop right there evil doer!

Dr. Bad turns around and faces Steroids Man and team.

Dougette: Holy crap this guy is for real! He's got some kind of Iron Man suit!

Robot: HE'S VERY SEXY!

DeShaun: Wait.... it can't be.... Dr. Bad?

Dr. Bad: Correct I am Dr. Bad, new and improved! How do you know me?

DeShaun: I ... used to be Metal Face...

Dr. Bad: Metal Face? The world's most ridiculous and pathetic Super Villain? What happened to you to make you stand side by side with Steroids Man?

DeShaun: Things change I guess....

Dr. Bad: And Steroids Man, yes we have had some run ins, haven't we? You will be the perfect specimen to test my new technology against.

Robot: WHERE DID YOU GET THIS TECHNOLOGY?

Dr. Bad: None of your concern .... wait a minute. You're the robot that my scientists were working on in the twenties.... this is very interesting... and you.....

Dougette: Me?

Dr. Bad: Yes... your familiar too somehow.... wait, Doug, but with a tickle fight change?

Dougette: That's me!

Dr. Bad: The world's greatest freelance terrorist?

Steroids Man, The Robot and DeShaun look at Dougette in shock. Even Dougette's muppet, Mr. Stabby is facing Dougette with his tiny mouth open.

Dougette: That? .... I was young and silly then.

Dr. Bad: What an interesting little team indeed. Time to kill you all now.

Steroids Man: Ok old man, you're not scaring anyone here and....

Suddenly Dr. Bad shoots a rocket out at Steroids Man and friends and they all scatter as the rocket flies on and blows up a car.

DeShaun: This is way too real for me guys!

Steroids Man runs at Dr. Bad and Dr. Bad punches him around with his huge metal fists and then kicks him into a wall. The robot attacks Dr. Bad and Dr. Bad uses his huge metal machine body to punch and kick the robot and dent him up and throw him across the street.

Dougette runs at the robot and kicks him.

Dougette: Ouch, my smurf foot and I just had my toe nails done!

Dr. Bad Punches Dougette in the stomach sending him flying and then shoots a rocket at him. Dougette moves away and the rocket explodes on a wall behind him, the explosion blows off Dougette's arm including Mr. Stabby and Dougette is hurt badly and missing an arm.

Dougette: Mr. Stabby, NOOOO!!!!!!

DeShaun is freaked out and paralyzed in fear.

Steroids Man gets up and cleans himself off and then notices something upsetting.

Steroids Man: No.... my new watch, it's scratched up!

Dr. Bad shoots another rocket at directly at Dougette.

Robot: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

The robot runs in front of the rocket to save Dougette and opens his metal drawer and catches the rocket inside the robot's body. The robot explodes into a million pieces and it rains down parts but Dougette is saved.

Dougette: Robot!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Bad: And now for Steroids Man!

Dr. Bad aims a rocket at Steroids Man and prepares to fire.

DeShaun: Steroids Man, move!

Steroids Man is still looking at his watch and trying to wipe the scratches off.

Steroids Man: Come on, please don't tell me this wonderful watch is ruined!!

DeShaun: Move you fool!

Dr. Bad shoots the rocket at Steroids Man and DeShaun runs toward Steroids Man at the same time.

DeShaun (Thinking): This is it, this is my chance to become a super hero and actually succeed at something in my life!

DeShaun runs at Steroids Man as the rocket is being fired and jumps up and slams into Steroids Man in an attempt to move him out of the way......

Steroids Man didn't move. Because Steroids Man is so huge and bulky and on so many steroids he didn't move a millimeter when DeShaun threw himself at him to knock him out of the way. Instead, DeShaun fell down and hurt himself badly. Steroids Man looks down at DeShaun and is really oblivious to what's going on.

Steroids Man: Why did you run into me?

DeShaun: ROCKET!!!!

Steroids Man looks over at Dr. Bad to see a rocket approaching and runs like hell leaving DeShaun behind and injured on the ground.

DeShaun: No.....

The rocket blows up a wall next to DeShaun and the blast explosion is absorbed by DeShaun's face. DeShaun puts both of his hands over his face and blood is all over.

DeShaun: MY FACE!!!!!!!!!! MY FACE IS DESTROYED!!!!!

Dougette (Bleeding from missing arm): Oh man, that is some hard core irony!

Steroids Man looks around to see DeShaun with his face blown off, Dougette missing an arm and bloody and the robot destroyed.

Steroids Man: Whoa... a lot of stuff happened just now.

Dr. Bad: You're next Steroids Man!

Suddenly Phil comes running to the scene in his typical business suit and with a huge boner.

Dr. Bad: Phil? The guy who held me back from being evil so many years? Good, I'll test my laser arm on him!

Phil: I did it! I finally got a boner!

Suddenly we see a large bright red beam shoot Phil in the chest and it goes right through him..... Phil is left standing with a huge plate sized hole in his body.

Phil looks down in shock and then falls over.

Steroids Man: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Steroids Man runs over to Phil but it's too late.... he's dead. Steroids Man is extremely upset because he was annoyed by Phil quite often, but certainly didn't want him to die, or die thinking Steroids Man hated him.

Steroids Man: What the hell is happening?

Steroids Man can't comprehend all the terrible things that just happened in such a brief amount of time.

Dr. Bad: And now for you, Steroids Man. I will now succeed where all others have failed and kill you!

Steroids Man runs at Dr. Bad and Dr. Bad shoots lasers and rockets at him.... Steroids Man dodges them all and injects some steroids and then attacks Dr. Bad.

Dr. Bad and Steroids Man are evenly matched as all their punches don't seem to hurt each other.

Dr. Bad: You can not defeat me!

Steroids Man takes even more steroids.

Steroids Man: Die you elderly balloon knot!

Steroids Man throws a high kick at Dr. Bad's head and Dr. Bad blocks it with his arm. There's a loud crunch and sparks shoot out of the metal arm.

Dr. Bad looks at his arm which also contains a time machine.

Dr. Bad: What have you done??? My time machine is malfunctioning!

Suddenly a large vortex opens and Dr. Bad and his machine get sucked in and the portal abruptly closes.

Steroids Man: What the smurf?!?!

////

We cut to a strange and weird zone where Dr. Bad is floating in a sea of nothingness.

Dr. Bad: No... I'm stuck in some kind of limbo... outside of time and space!

Dr. Bad looks at his arm with the time machine built in.

Dr. Bad: This is broken... I am trapped here!!!

/////

Steroids Man looks around at all the death and destruction. Dougette is missing an arm and DeShaun is missing a face and the robot is destroyed and Phil is dead.

Steroids Man is the only one who is not hurt at all and then he steps on something.

Steroids Man: shazam! smurf DAMN IT!!!! I stepped on a nail! I'm going to need a smurf tetanus shot now! This smurf sucks!!!


~~~~~~~~

R.I.P Phil, The Robot, Revenge and Mr. Stabby

please comment below.

[Wesley]

I am a creature of habit.

I was kind of hoping the malfunctioning time machine portal gun would act like the Universal Rewind from the add-on fiction story we were writing a few years ago.

Damn, a few years ago... You realize how long we have all been doing this? As a percentage of your adult life? Wow....

[Clarence]

It's always awesome to think how this silly game brought us all together. I'm very greatful for the friendships made on this forum.

[Clarence]

Thanks so much for reading this and taking the time to post!

Hope ya stick around and would love to hear any more comments!